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Thought for the Day: Learning in Kollel, Living the Dream

Last night I merited to make a siyum on Masechta Brachos. I started learning Brachos when I retired from work and started learning in the Peterson Park Kollel. I learn it with Rashi and the Rosh. I do not have a chavrusa, so I am careful to write down thoughts and questions as part of learning. I was told by R' Siegel, shlita, that when learning without a charvursa, that is imperative; otherwise it is too easy to fool yourself. Honestly, though, I also have the support and encouragement of the entire kollel. Since I have learned the entire masechta there and because I have received so much support and guidance, I asked the Rosh Kolllel, R' Yosef Rachjenbach, shlita, to be allowed to make the siyum at the kollel. The Rosh Kollel not only agreed, but insisted we make the siyum at his home! Synopsis follows.

First, the siyum was after the 10:00 PM ma'ariv. That means the siyum started at about 10:20 PM. The only time I remember being up that late and out of the house was last Shavuos. I was actually very happy with that time slot. Everyone knows that I daven k'vasikin. Everyone knows that is way late for me. That means everyone knew that I was there for only reason; הכרת הטוב/gratitude. Being in the Rosh Kollel's home also made it possible for my wife and daughter to attend. It was also attended by my son-in-law and grandson, some of my closest friends. And, of course, every member of the kollel. The Rosh Kollel remarked; when one member of the kollel makes a siyum, everyone attends.

You know, me, I spoke. First I discussed the משל/parable (Brachos 61b) from R' Akiva comparing a Jew's relationship with Torah to the relationship of a fish with water, as discussed in this TftD. I emphasized the point that in the משל/parable, R' Akiva doesn't refer to the water as "the medium in which the fish live", but as the מקום חיותנו/the place of their vitality. For me, כולל זכרון אליהו/The Peterson Park Kollel has become that environment. When I first retired, I hadn't given much thought to where to learn. R' Siegel, shlita, told me to find a kollel. My extensive research consisted of looking for the closest kollel to my house. Baruch HaShem, I live in a good neighborhood. I walked in, the Rosh Kollel found a place to sit and told me that all the food and coffee in the kitchen is for everyone. I was home.

The kollel has received me with open arms since I walked in. I am not shy about asking questions, and no one is stingy about helping me. Sometimes it is showing me where I can find the right sefer. Sometimes helping me understand the topic. Other times listening to my reasoning, thoughtfully processing, and then pointing out the flaws. For my last 30 years in the workplace I had to maintain a polite and friendly relationship with my coworkers. People with whom I absolutely did not want to have a personal relationship. Now the morning coffee ritual is filled with divrei Torah and camaraderie with my friends.

None of this, of course, would have been possible without my wife. I was just starting graduate school when we got married. Each morning I would head over to my office to learn (physics, that is) and she would go off to work to support us. Then came life. We are now back to her working, and I go off to learn in the morning. We are a real kollel couple.

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