Skip to main content

Thought for the Day: Lashon HaRah is *Not* the Problem, It is a Symptom of the Problem

I had wanted to write about this a few weeks ago when I heard an(other) incredible shiur from R' Ezriel Cziment, shlita on parasha M'tzorah regarding the mitvah to refrain from Lashon HaRah... but it was erev Shabbos and I was busy and I ran short of time and I was tired... I know, I know... excuses, excuses.

Let me try to redeem myself. This week's parasha (or part of it anyway), K'doshim T'hi'yu (pretty good transliteration, no?) contains, I discovered, the mitzvah itself! (I should have already known that, right? I agree... I'll just keep reading and reviewing till I finally get it!)

לֹֽא־תֵלֵ֤ךְ רָכִיל֙ בְּעַמֶּ֔יךָ ויקרא יט:טז/You shall not go around as a gossipmonger among your people

There is a well known medrash:

A peddler went through the streets shouting, “Who wishes to buy an elixir of life?” R' Yannai, who was engrossed in his Torah study, asked to see his wares. The peddler said to him, “For you, I have nothing.” Upon R' Yannai's insistence, the peddler took out a Book of Psalms and showed him the verse, “Who is the person who desires life and loves days that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech” (Psalms 34:13-14). R' Yannai then said, “All my life I have been reciting this psalm, but I never understood it until this peddler pointed it out to me” (Vayikra Rabbah 16:2).

Of course everyone deals with what exactly was new to R' Yannai in this exchange. R' Cziment had (as usual) a novel approach that really opened up the medrash. We all think of prohibitions as protecting us from damage, and that is precisely how R' Yannai had been learning that psalm. However, the peddler is asking who wants an elixir that gives life, not that prevents damage to an otherwise healthy life. R' Cziment brought in the Beis HaLevi that Klal Yisrael is the parchment of the Oral Law (see this TftD for more on that topic). Speaking Lashon HaRa doesn't damage an otherwise healthy life, it prevents that life from being built in the first place. Klal Yisrael is not a bunch of individuals, it has to be a cohesive network for the Oral Law -- which is the soul of Klal Yisrael -- to breathe and thrive.

I would like to add another aspect to this. The Chafeitz Chaim says that Lashon HaRah is the symptom of שנאת חינם/baseless hate. The life and vitality of Klal Yisrael is אהבת חינם/baseless love. That means that love is the underlying communication grid, if you will, of Klal Yisrael and our soul, the Oral Torah. As mentioned in that TftD, there are two kinds of love the Torah requires. It is interesting to look at each in the context in which they were written.

First, the mitzvah of ואהבת לרעך כמוך/Every Jew must love every other Jew comes after the prohibitions of taking revenge and even holding a grudge. The Torah calls refraining from doing a favor for another Jew because of something they did to you is revenge. If you do the favor, but mention that you are  doing it in spite of their bad (sic) behavior, that's holding a grudge. Here's an example with which I am all too familiar. Suppose someone always puts the dishes away in the morning as a favor for his wife. (It has never taken more than five or six minutes, so it's pretty easy.) One evening he has a disagreement with his wife and in the morning decides not to put the dishes away because I was ... um, I mean, he is still ticked off a bit. Boom. Torah prohibition. Suppose I ... I mean he still puts the dishes away, but comes home and when she thanks him for putting the dishes away (which she always  does, she is amazing, actually), he replies with, "You're welcome. Even though you were mean to me, I still was nice to you." Different boom, but still a Torah prohibition. Want a side of bacon with that?

The only way to live up to that expectation is to already have a strong bond of love. Why would I need ואהבת לרעך כמוך on top of that? In fact, the mitzvah to love every Jew as yourself is really an admonition to not overstep boundaries. You have to love yourself also. Love other Jews as much as you love yourself, but not more than yourself. You are, after all, also a Jew!

The mitzvah to love converts, one the other hand, comes after "because you were strangers in Mitzrayim". That is, the mitzvah to love converts is an expression of using whatever experiences you have endured to be sensitive to another's predicament. Remember/imagine how you felt and/or would have felt in that situation and use those feelings in reaching out.

Both mitzvohs are followed by, "I am HaShem." These are not about happenstance human emotions, they are about using our most powerful passions to build Klal Yisrael.

In the 60s, there was a song: "What the world needs now is love, sweet love." Even now, that song has more than 13 millions tracks! We don't need to hear it again, and -- honestly -- I don't know how the rest of the lyrics go. I do know, however, that HaShem very much wants us to heed those words.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thought for the Day: Pizza, Uncrustables, and Stuff -- What Bracha?

Many years ago (in fact, more than two decades ago), I called R' Fuerst from my desk at work as I sat down to lunch.  I had a piece of (quite delicious) homemade pizza for lunch.  I nearly always eat at my desk as I am working (or writing TftD...), so my lunch at work cannot in any way be considered as sitting down to a formal meal; aka קביעת סעודה.  That being the case, I wasn't sure whether to wash, say ha'motzi, and bentch; or was the pizza downgraded to a m'zonos.  He told if it was a snack, then it's m'zonos; if a meal the ha'motzi.  Which what I have always done since then.  I recently found out how/why that works. The Shulchan Aruch, 168:17 discusses פשטיד''א, which is describes as a baked dough with meat or fish or cheese.  In other words: pizza.  Note: while the dough doesn't not need to be baked together with the meat/fish/cheese, it is  required that they dough was baked with the intention of making this concoction. ...

Thought for the Day: What Category of Muktzeh are Our Candles?

As discussed in a recent TftD , a p'sak halacha quite surprising to many, that one may -- even לכתחילה -- decorate a birthday cake with (unlit, obviously) birthday candles on Shabbos. That p'sak is predicated on another p'sak halacha; namely, that our candles are muktzeh because they are a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור and not  מוקצה מחמת גופו/intrinsically set aside from any use on Shabbos. They point there was that using the candle as a decoration qualifies as a need that allows one to utilize a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור. Today we will discuss the issue of concluding that our candles are , in fact, a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור and not מוקצה מחמת גופו. Along the way we'll also (again) how important it is to have personal relationship with your rav/posek, the importance of precision in vocabulary, and how to interpret the Mishna Brura.  Buckle up. After reviewing siman 308 and the Mishna Brura there, I concluded that it should be permissible to use birthday candles to decorate a cake on Sha...

Thought for the Day: Why Halacha Has "b'di'avad"

There was this Jew who knew every "b'di'avad" (aka, "Biddy Eved", the old spinster librarian) in the book.  When ever he was called on something, his reply was invariably, "biddy eved, it's fine".  When he finally left this world and was welcomed to Olam Haba, he was shown to a little, damp closet with a bare 40W bulb hanging from the ceiling.  He couldn't believe his eyes and said in astonishment, "This is Olam Haba!?!"  "Yes, Reb Biddy Eved,  for you this is Olam Haba." b'di'avad gets used like that; f you don't feel like doing something the best way, do it the next (or less) best way.  But Chazal tell us that "kol ha'omer HaShem vatran, m'vater al chayav" -- anyone who thinks HaShem gives partial credit is fooling himself to death (free translation.  Ok, really, really free translation; but its still true).  HaShem created us and this entire reality for one and only one purpose: for use...