Thought for the Day: Strengthening Our Relationship to HaShem By Improving Our Relationship with Our Fellow Jews

Have you ever heard the expression, "hoisted by his own petard"? A "petard" is a small bomb or explosive device. The phrase implies that someone is lifted (blown up) by their own invention, thus being hurt by their own creation. I would like to offer a new dimension of the meaning of this expression. But first, of course, the back story.

In this week's parasha, קדושים תהיו (I am done with transliteration; for awhile, anyway) we learn that one of the ways that we become holy is to בצדק תשפוט עמיתך/judge (members) of your nation justly. Chazal explain that verse comes to instruct us (in addition to the plain meaning, which is an exhortation to judges) to give everyone the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. All the parasha pages will be replete with inspirational stories of how giving the benefit of the doubt, and even searching for how this or that could go from sin to mitzvah (hmm... my done-ness with transliteration didn't last long). I am not going to try to add anything to that. However, I saw a cool, practical idea about how to increase and focus our personal striving for קדושה.

We wrap the arm strap of the תפילין של יד seven times around the forearm. You can just count, I use the aleph-bais; but counting is the norm, I think. After I affix my תפילין של ראש, I adjust the arm strap and double check the count. I can recognize groups of three and four, so that's how I confirm. (Probably too much information, right?) Anyway, in R' Biderman's Wellsprings of Torah this week (at least in the Spanish version, gringos) he describes a couple of other devices people use. One is to the count the wrappings by their correspondence in this verse that contains seven words:

ואתם הדבקים בה' אלוקיהם חיים כולכם היום/And you, who cling to the Lord your G-d, are all alive today

It is cute, because the meaning of the verse is precisely what t'fillin (I give up) is meant to accomplish. Another custom -- attributed to R' Itzele of Pshevorsk, ztz"l (say that three times fast) -- is to use the words of the following seven worded mishna (Avos 1:6):

והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות/Judge all people/the entire person to the side of merit

After all, that is a major theme in becoming a holy People. Cool, I thought, I'll -- בלי נדר/bli neder -- say both. Hmm... what order? Attachment to HaShem and then worrying about my interpersonal relationships, or work on my interpersonal relationships and then worry about G-d? I had a brilliant (if I do say so myself) idea -- I'll see how HaShem orders it! The parasha contains many, many instances of אני הי אלוקיך/I am HaShem, your G-d, which Rashi explains to mean, "Who has the means to repay you (bad or good), and knows exactly what is going on in your mind, so don't think you are getting away with anything)." I figure that way, no matter what I say first, it is by Divine decree and so fulfillment of Divine Will. Smart, no?

So, I asked a chaver who is my go-to for chumash questions, and he pointed me right to the place in the parasha, Vayikra 19:15. Sure enough, that exhortation to judge everyone favorably is followed by אני הי אלוקיך/I am HaShem, your G-d. Perfect, I'll say the mishna first, then the verse, בלי נדר/bli neder. My chaver noted to me that there is most of another verse between those two statements: You shall not go around as a gossipmonger amidst your people. You shall not stand by [the shedding of] your fellow's blood. (Vayikra 19:16) ... and then it says אני הי אלוקיך/I am HaShem, your G-d. "No problem," I say, "that is just giving the reason to judge everyone favorably.

My chaver got his huge, signature grin, and said, "I thought the reason to not be a gossipmonger is because HaShem said so." He knows that is exactly what I would have said had I heard someone else saying what I just said; effectively hoisting me by my own petard. I thought about it. He was, of course, right. But could I salvage the enough to have a solid reason to say the mishna before the verse? I think so. I thought more about the ordering of the verses, Vayikra 19:15/16. You are  actually not allowed to refrain from speaking ill of every Jew. You are obligated to speak ill of apikorsim (read: rabbis and teachers of the Reform Jewish Religion). You are also not required to search for a reason to excuse everyone's behavior. If someone is a recalcitrant sinner, you should not assume this time they aren't sinning.

So, on the one hand, he is right; we do mitzvos because they were commanded by HaShem. On the other hand, we are supposed to look for patterns positioning of verses to find deeper meanings. That being the case, I believe being hoisted by my own petard brought me up to a new level of understanding of this issue. Thank you very much, dear chaver.