Fact: When a Jew acquires a metal or glass utensil from a non-Jew for the purpose of using that utensil for its intended purpose (as opposed to acquiring it to sell or as an object d'art, for example), then the utensil must be immersed in a kosher mikveh before it is used (even once). This is, of course, the mitzvah of טבילת כלים.
Fact: A utensil that was originally owned (or made, which is an intense form of ownership) by a non-Jew that is acquired from a Jewish merchant also requires immersion in a kosher mikveh before first use.
Fact: When someone buys a utensil to give as a gift, they have the same status as the store keeper regarding טבילת כלים. Namely, they have not acquired utensil to use for its intended purpose and therefore immersing it in a kosher mikveh would have no effect except to make it wet. If they were to make a bracha on that immersion it would incur the sin of reciting HaShem's name in vain. If they were to tell the recipient that the utensil has already been immersed properly, they would incur the sin of placing a stumbling block before the blind and be the cause of their friend to transgress the prohibition of using a utensil that has not been immersed in a kosher mikveh with every use. Don't do that.
Fact: When a wife buys a utensil (under ordinary circumstances), the utensil will be owned by her husband. Therefore, it seems clear that were she to immerse that utensil, she would incur all the issues noted in the previous fact. (Similar issues would arise if he b+ought his wife a utensil for her birthday or their anniversary. That, of course, is a bad idea in any case.)
Fact: No one has ever heard of such a thing! Wives and husbands buy and immerse stuff all the time.
Fact: Just because "everyone does it" certainly does not make "it" right; however, the whole matter does require investigation.
Fact: For me, that means to review the source material and then clarify the halacha with R' Fuerst, shilta. Which I did.
So... why can't you immerse a utensil when giving a gift? After all, זכה אדם שלא בפניו; you are allowed -- and even encouraged, at times -- to provide a benefit for another Jew even if he is not aware of it and not involved in the decision. Here's why: that's only when the benefit is clear and apparent, with no loss. However, if you immerse the utensil for your friend, you are taking the mitzvah away from him. That is serious business. We would all be shocked if someone ran ahead of the one honored to open the ark during n'eilah and opened the ark himself. Chutzpah! Similarly, immersing someone else's utensil is a terrible chutzpah!
Suppose you know it is difficult for your friend to get to the כלים mikveh and you know they would appreciate your help in immersing for them? Great! Just ask them to make you their agent; they certainly have they right and will most certainly appreciate your sensitivity and help.
And now we have come to why husbands and wives do this for each other all the time: there is an אומדנא/halachically valid presumption that they always want to make each other agents for this. In fact, all members of the family are included in this אומדנא. Being just roommates, they does not have this אומדנא; they would have to specifically speak it out.
And that's the facts.
Fact: A utensil that was originally owned (or made, which is an intense form of ownership) by a non-Jew that is acquired from a Jewish merchant also requires immersion in a kosher mikveh before first use.
Fact: When someone buys a utensil to give as a gift, they have the same status as the store keeper regarding טבילת כלים. Namely, they have not acquired utensil to use for its intended purpose and therefore immersing it in a kosher mikveh would have no effect except to make it wet. If they were to make a bracha on that immersion it would incur the sin of reciting HaShem's name in vain. If they were to tell the recipient that the utensil has already been immersed properly, they would incur the sin of placing a stumbling block before the blind and be the cause of their friend to transgress the prohibition of using a utensil that has not been immersed in a kosher mikveh with every use. Don't do that.
Fact: When a wife buys a utensil (under ordinary circumstances), the utensil will be owned by her husband. Therefore, it seems clear that were she to immerse that utensil, she would incur all the issues noted in the previous fact. (Similar issues would arise if he b+ought his wife a utensil for her birthday or their anniversary. That, of course, is a bad idea in any case.)
Fact: No one has ever heard of such a thing! Wives and husbands buy and immerse stuff all the time.
Fact: Just because "everyone does it" certainly does not make "it" right; however, the whole matter does require investigation.
Fact: For me, that means to review the source material and then clarify the halacha with R' Fuerst, shilta. Which I did.
So... why can't you immerse a utensil when giving a gift? After all, זכה אדם שלא בפניו; you are allowed -- and even encouraged, at times -- to provide a benefit for another Jew even if he is not aware of it and not involved in the decision. Here's why: that's only when the benefit is clear and apparent, with no loss. However, if you immerse the utensil for your friend, you are taking the mitzvah away from him. That is serious business. We would all be shocked if someone ran ahead of the one honored to open the ark during n'eilah and opened the ark himself. Chutzpah! Similarly, immersing someone else's utensil is a terrible chutzpah!
Suppose you know it is difficult for your friend to get to the כלים mikveh and you know they would appreciate your help in immersing for them? Great! Just ask them to make you their agent; they certainly have they right and will most certainly appreciate your sensitivity and help.
And now we have come to why husbands and wives do this for each other all the time: there is an אומדנא/halachically valid presumption that they always want to make each other agents for this. In fact, all members of the family are included in this אומדנא. Being just roommates, they does not have this אומדנא; they would have to specifically speak it out.
And that's the facts.
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