Skip to main content

Thought for the Day: More on Offering Food to Non-Frum Jews

I was learning with one of my favorite chavrusos last night (ok... all my chavrusos are my favorite, each in his own way), and he related an interesting event that gave me some insight about why we are so quick to offer food to Jews who don't make brachos.

He is a ba'al tshuva and one of his first interactions with Orthodox Jews was to have a whiskey taken out of his hand and poured down the sink.  What happened?  He was becoming more involved with an Orthodox girl (whom he later married) and went to meet her family.  They offered him a l'chaim, to which he readily agreed.  (Besides being enough of a whiskey fan to have gone on a tour or bourbon distilleries, meeting the girl's family is always a good time for a drink!)   He had the shot poured and sitting in front of him.  Suddenly, someone exclaimed, "Wait!  That's the bottle from Aunt SuzyQ and she didn't sell it before pesach!"  The glass was snatched away and he looked on (more than a little nonplussed)  as that and the rest of the bottle was poured down the sink.

I think we all would have done the same thing.  Chameitz sh'avar alav pesach is a serious issur and we all recognize that.  So... lets think about all those excuses we use to permit ourselves offering food to a Jew who doesn't make brachos:
  • What will he think of Orthodox Jews if I don't offer something to eat or drink?
  • It's only rabbinic.
  • He doesn't know about brachos and/or doesn't believe in them.
  • At least he's eating kosher food.
  • and so on...
All those excuses apply equally well to my friend's situation.  Yet, we all agree that you can't offer a non-frum Jew chameitz sh'avar alav pesach.  It seems to me the issue is not with our non-frum guests.  It is with us.  We don't appreciate how important brachos are and how really bad it is not to make them.  By the way, the Avudraham says that since the Torah HaK'dosha tells us directly to bentch after eating (the one bracha everyone agrees is d'oraisa), that is is a logical conclusion that all the more so one must make a bracha before eating!  So, yes, making the brachos with the nusach we have is d'rabanan, but the fact that one must make a bracha before may be d'oraisa.

R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, z"tzl, was certainly not meikel in his ahavas yisrael.  In fact, one could argue it was precisely because of his abounding love for all Jews coupled with his deep understanding of how awful it is for a Jew to eat with out making brachos that led him to be machmir in this area.  I am thinking we could all improve in both areas.  Have I mentioned the importance of learning mussar?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thought for the Day: Pizza, Uncrustables, and Stuff -- What Bracha?

Many years ago (in fact, more than two decades ago), I called R' Fuerst from my desk at work as I sat down to lunch.  I had a piece of (quite delicious) homemade pizza for lunch.  I nearly always eat at my desk as I am working (or writing TftD...), so my lunch at work cannot in any way be considered as sitting down to a formal meal; aka קביעת סעודה.  That being the case, I wasn't sure whether to wash, say ha'motzi, and bentch; or was the pizza downgraded to a m'zonos.  He told if it was a snack, then it's m'zonos; if a meal the ha'motzi.  Which what I have always done since then.  I recently found out how/why that works. The Shulchan Aruch, 168:17 discusses פשטיד''א, which is describes as a baked dough with meat or fish or cheese.  In other words: pizza.  Note: while the dough doesn't not need to be baked together with the meat/fish/cheese, it is  required that they dough was baked with the intention of making this concoction. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thought for the Day: Yetzer HaRa -- Spiritual Force of Tuma vs Physical Ta'avos

In any project planning, there are two basic approaches: top down and bottom up.  Top down starts with describing what you want done at the highest level that seems reasonable.  You then break that down into a list of things that are smaller in scope (they only accomplish part of the job) and are therefore easier to actually accomplish.  That process can is then repeated with each sub-project.  Each iteration produces a new set of smaller projects.  For any of the projects, the level above provides the "why" for the project of interest, and the projects below provide the "how" for the current project.  Bottom up starts, as it's name suggests, from the lowest level -- here is stuff I know I can do, and proceeds by asking "what can I do by putting this stuff together?" For example, I have a project to slake my thirst.  Top down would start by a requirement to get a cool drink into a container from which I can drink.  That breaks down into: (1) fin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thought for the Day: Why Halacha Has "b'di'avad"

There was this Jew who knew every "b'di'avad" (aka, "Biddy Eved", the old spinster librarian) in the book.  When ever he was called on something, his reply was invariably, "biddy eved, it's fine".  When he finally left this world and was welcomed to Olam Haba, he was shown to a little, damp closet with a bare 40W bulb hanging from the ceiling.  He couldn't believe his eyes and said in astonishment, "This is Olam Haba!?!"  "Yes, Reb Biddy Eved,  for you this is Olam Haba." b'di'avad gets used like that; f you don't feel like doing something the best way, do it the next (or less) best way.  But Chazal tell us that "kol ha'omer HaShem vatran, m'vater al chayav" -- anyone who thinks HaShem gives partial credit is fooling himself to death (free translation.  Ok, really, really free translation; but its still true).  HaShem created us and this entire reality for one and only one purpose: for use...
Post a Comment
Read more