I plan to have a drink tonight to celebrate. Today was, so far, my single more successful day in kollel since joining a year ago Pesach. I could tell that you that I was able to help one of the yungaleit understand a gemara and the different ways that Rashi and the M'iri explain it. I was able to help because I have a deep knowledge of optics, trigonometry, and history of science and technology. That wasn't it, though. That was just icing on the cake. Fun to share at dinner (and here), but not worth a toast.
So... a few weeks ago, I started learning the 11th perek of masechta Shabbos, הזורק/throwing, because it is the wraps up the discussion of הוצאה/transfer out of one domain to another that was started with the first mishna of the entire tractate. I was intrigued by the first question the gemara asked on the first mishna of the perek. I wrote a couple of TtfDs on it, Why and When a Scriptural Source is Needed for הוצאה, and Why הוצאה Has תולדות. If you are paying much closer attention than I have any reason to suspect, and if you follow those links, and if you remember what they said (or check your email for those of you who receive these TftDs by direct communication), then you will notice that there has been some subtle changes to the title and a few very significant changes to the contents. That is a result of this success I had today in kollel.
I had done a lot of research on understanding in a deep and fundamental way what the Malachos of Shabbos mean and how they are determined. I shared my conclusions with pretty much anyone who would listen. One was an ex-yungaleit who has transitioned to 12th grade rebbi at Telshe, and whom I actually had in Telshe when I taught computers there for a few years. I find his insights particularly helpful. He told me that he thought I was wrong. I did more research. I went back to him. We discussed it and he showed me a Tosafos that really torpedoed my ideas. I did more research and this morning was able to get a few minutes with the Rosh Kollel.
I was absolutely and utterly wrong. That's my cause for celebration. I was wrong, but now -- Baruch HaShem and thanks to the patience of all concerned -- I am no longer wrong. (Only this one point, but removing a misconception on any point of our infinitely holy and profound Torah is HUGE and a reason to celebrate.
Everything I had read and learned -- all written on very general language -- turned out to be on one, just one, malacha -- הוצאה. That is an interesting malacha -- known in the literature as a מלאכה גרוע/deficient malacha, because it is not even constructive, it is always and only a preparation to do something constructive.
The Rosh Kollel, obviously taking delight in my confusion, told me תורה שבעל פה is called חושך/darkness and מכשילה/trap to lead you astray. Ultimately, תורה שבעל פה represents our most pure access to understanding the Almighty. If a person is not getting stuck and confused in his learning, then one thing is certain: he isn't learning. Getting stuck and discovering the depth of how far you are out of your depth is an indication that one is really learning. The Rosh Kollel's smile and delight in my confusion was that of a rebbi or parent seeing their talmid/child growing up.
Which is why my provisional title for this TftD was:
Best Day Ever! I am Not Wrong (About One Thing) Anymore
Comments