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Thought for the Day: Open Success and Hidden Success

As previously mentioned, I recently discovered the wonderful shiurim of R' Meilach Biderman, shlita. When it rains, as they say, it pours. It turns out that you short video clips from R' Meilach's shiurim are available via WhatsApp! Just text "subscribe" to +1 (845) 293-2166 in WhatsApp and you'll receive further instructions.

Each mini-shiur is from 30 seconds to a minute or two. One of my favorites so far, R' Meilach said over from the Belzer Rav that people make two mistakes in how they respond to shidduchim. First, when the shidduch is finalized, they make a l'chaim. When the shidduch breaks down, though, the whole family strengthens their t'filos. That's backwards, says the saintly Belzer Rav. When a shidduch falls apart, that is the time for l'chaim! Why? Baruch HaShem, that you have been saved from years of suffering! When the shidduch is finalized and everything is a go -- that is the time for everyone to strengthen their t'filos.

One morning more than two decades ago -- Sept 12, 2001, to be precise -- I asked a friend how he was doing. He replied, "Not as well as yesterday." I responded that I had some years ago gone to the doctor with bronchitis, and walked out of his office knowing that bronchitis was the least of my problems -- I had been diagnosed with cancer. As distressing as that news was, I was then in a much better place; now I could do something about it, whereas before my cancer was hidden.

When disturbing events occur in our lives, we have to realize that we now know something that was heretofore hidden from our view. We can do something about it. Imagine someone were a smoker, chas v'shalom, and one day found out, chas v'shalom, that he had lung cancer. No question the cigarettes caused the disease. Obviously he needs to immediately get rid of the cigarettes and treat the cancer with extreme prejudice. Would he blame his lungs for inhaling the smoke? His hands for lighting each cigarette and bringing it to his mouth? His feet for walking to the store to buy them? His brain for thinking of the idea? Obviously not. Do they all share the blame? Obviously. Just as obviously, they are all in this together and they have to work together to stop thinking about smoking, walking to get cigarettes, lighting them, and breathing the smoke. There is no place for blame, only concern and support.

Klal Yisrael was viciously attacked on Shabbos. The cowardly and vicious murderers need to be dealt with immediately. At the same time, Klal Yisrael needs to stop the chillul Shabbos... together -- with concern and support. A few weeks ago we celebrated in our sukkos; a celebration of Divine Providence. The Divine Providence didn't falter, chas v'shalom. There was a very clear message from our Father in heaven that we have bad habits to fix. Let's do the hard work to fix them and then have that l'chaim.

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