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Thought for the Day: Keeping Your Neighbor Safe from Yichud

Here's an interesting and very practical question. It started with a friend telling me that he helps a neighbor to avoid a problem with yichud. The neighbor works from home; much more common now in the post-pandemic world where practically everything is done "on line" anyway. The neighbor 's wife, however, does not work from home; go figure, it's an upside down world nowadays. The issue is what to do when the cleaning lady is there. That's where my friend becomes the hero. He doesn't have to actually be there the entire time in the house, the neighbor just has to be nervous (enough) that my friend might pop in any time. That nervousness is enough to prevent inappropriate actions, and -- it follows -- the prohibition of yichud is not transgressed.

So what's the question? My friend was going out of town on business for a day; out that morning, back that evening. Should he tell his neighbor that he is out of town, or better his neighbor doesn't know he is out of town and will remain nervous that he could pop in at any moment? Or maybe since he actually/physically can't pop in any minute, the nervousness (as real as it may be) just isn't enough?

So, of course, I asked R' Fuerst. But first -- no pun intended (which of course means the pun was intended and planned) -- I wanted to clarify how often my friend needs to actually pop into his neighbor's house. It goes without saying (sigh... but I am saying) that the popping in has to be completely unannounced. Not a knock at the door (which should be open anyway), not rustling the leaves; unannounced. Once a day is not enough. One must pop in two or three times a day. But -- and this was a big surprise to me (and my friend) -- it doesn't have to be every day. It obviously can't be on a schedule, but a pattern has to be established that there is no pattern. Once that pattern of no pattern is established, then not showing up for a day is not a problem -- even if that day he is out of town and couldn't actually pop in even if he wanted to. With one proviso: the neighbor can't know he is out of town.

IMHO -- living as a Jew is not about big, splashy displays of righteousness/charity/kindness/what-have-you. Living as a Jew means there are no small mitzvos and there are no empty moments. Every moment is an opportunity for a mitzvah and every mitzvah is as precious as every other mitzvah.

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