One is never, ever allowed to speak לשון הרע (literally: evil speech, but Google translation also offers defamation, slander, gossip, and calumny). You may have heard that there are situations in which one may speak לשון הרע. You may have even heard that as long as seven criteria are fulfilled: (1) you have all the facts, (2) there is a benefit, (3) there is no other way to achieve the benefit, (4) you saw it yourself, (5) you made every effort to speak the the person before speaking about him, (6) you do not exaggerate in the slightest, and (7) your motives are entirely pure. You may have even Googled it (as I did). You may have even seen the words "as long as these seven criteria are met, than לשון הרע is permitted." None the less, that is a false statement.
Here is the precise statement: derogatory statements and remarks about another Jew are almost always forbidden. That forbidden speech is know in halacha as לשון הרע. Under certain conditions, those statements and remarks may be permitted; the may, even become obligatory. There is no specific name for that that category of speech. It might occur when testifying in court, or when warning someone so they can protect themselves from a third party. It is by nature extremely situational.
Let's put that into perspective. Killing another human being is almost always forbidden. Forbidden killing of another human being is known legally as murder. Under certain conditions, that killing might be permitted; it may even be required. There is no specific name for that category of killing. It may occur when protecting the public from a crazed gunman. It may occur during war. It is by nature extremely situational.
You think I am going overboard (yet again) by putting לשון הרע and murder in the same conceptual category of offense? It's not me; it's Chazal. Chazal tell us that when a person says לשון הרע he is potentially murdering three people: the one about whom he is speaking, the one to whom he is speaking, and himself. It's very, very bad news.
I recently had an experience that reminded me just how tricky it is to permit oneself to say derogatory speech. Let's look at (4) -- you saw it yourself. A certain תלמיד חכם was davening with us at the vasikin minyan one Thursday morning. This תלמיד חכם, I knew had just come home from the hospital the day before. I had heard that he had even needed a blood transfusion in the hospital. After his aliyah, though, he did not "bentch gomel". When asked why not, he said, "I am still considering the situation." I know, because I was right there and I heard the entire conversation. Hmm... I thought; I guess things weren't as bad as I heard; or maybe he feels that receiving a blood transfusion doesn't qualify as having been in a life threatening situation. Very interesting.
But it bothered me. I finally decided to speak with him. First I confirmed that the reports of how dire his situation were not exaggerated. Given that, I asked, "So why didn't you bentch gomel?" "I did," he replied. But... but... last Thursday? "Yes, at that point I wasn't sure I had returned to full health." (As is required before bentching gomel.) Ohhh.... (slapping my forehead.)
So here I had seen everything myself. He is my friend and I certainly harbored no ill will. I earnestly thought that I had all the facts. But I didn't. That's why (3), (5), (6), and (7) are so important.
Here is the precise statement: derogatory statements and remarks about another Jew are almost always forbidden. That forbidden speech is know in halacha as לשון הרע. Under certain conditions, those statements and remarks may be permitted; the may, even become obligatory. There is no specific name for that that category of speech. It might occur when testifying in court, or when warning someone so they can protect themselves from a third party. It is by nature extremely situational.
Let's put that into perspective. Killing another human being is almost always forbidden. Forbidden killing of another human being is known legally as murder. Under certain conditions, that killing might be permitted; it may even be required. There is no specific name for that category of killing. It may occur when protecting the public from a crazed gunman. It may occur during war. It is by nature extremely situational.
You think I am going overboard (yet again) by putting לשון הרע and murder in the same conceptual category of offense? It's not me; it's Chazal. Chazal tell us that when a person says לשון הרע he is potentially murdering three people: the one about whom he is speaking, the one to whom he is speaking, and himself. It's very, very bad news.
I recently had an experience that reminded me just how tricky it is to permit oneself to say derogatory speech. Let's look at (4) -- you saw it yourself. A certain תלמיד חכם was davening with us at the vasikin minyan one Thursday morning. This תלמיד חכם, I knew had just come home from the hospital the day before. I had heard that he had even needed a blood transfusion in the hospital. After his aliyah, though, he did not "bentch gomel". When asked why not, he said, "I am still considering the situation." I know, because I was right there and I heard the entire conversation. Hmm... I thought; I guess things weren't as bad as I heard; or maybe he feels that receiving a blood transfusion doesn't qualify as having been in a life threatening situation. Very interesting.
But it bothered me. I finally decided to speak with him. First I confirmed that the reports of how dire his situation were not exaggerated. Given that, I asked, "So why didn't you bentch gomel?" "I did," he replied. But... but... last Thursday? "Yes, at that point I wasn't sure I had returned to full health." (As is required before bentching gomel.) Ohhh.... (slapping my forehead.)
So here I had seen everything myself. He is my friend and I certainly harbored no ill will. I earnestly thought that I had all the facts. But I didn't. That's why (3), (5), (6), and (7) are so important.
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