Michael el Chayil

In the old days, I got most of my exercise by riding my bike to/from work four days a week. Then Covid hit, so I started just taking 10-12 mile rides at noon-ish just to keep up the exercise. Then winter would hit and I switched to treadmill. (I think "detest" is too strong a word for how I feel about walking on a treadmill, but only a bit too strong.) I often worked from home on Fridays, so I would walk to/from shul on Fridays to get some steps in. Now that I am learning and working close to home, I've decided to walk to/from shul everyday. During the winter? I bundle up and walk faster. When it snows? Boots. When it is icy... so that's where this starts. Not only have I been learning/davening at the same place, bli ayin hara, every morning for over 30 years, I have also been sitting next to the same dear friend for a good portion of that time. He is more or less used to me. Just to level set this. I am at shul in the mornings for about three hours each morning betwe...

We are currently in the Shovavim ( שובבי״ם ) period of the Jewish year. A time for introspection and change. The acronym comes from the first letter of the six parshios covering our enslavement in Mitzrayim through receiving the Torah. In these parshios, Paroh receives warning after warning from HaShem via His prophet Moshe Rabeinu. Paroh seems to just not get it. What is his problem? Why didn't he listen? Let's punctuate the answer to that question with a couple of fun stories. I moved to Chicago with my family just a few years before the turn of the century. (It was 1993 CE, actually,  but "turn of the century" sounds way cooler!) We moved here -- as newly Orthodox Jews -- to find a Jewish community that would nurture and support our continued growth in Torah and avodas HaShem. I was discussing how happy we are that we moved to Chicago with a good friend of mine who grew up in Chicago. He had a great way of summarizing what we have found: Chicago has everything New ...

The gabbai announced on Friday night, "Rabosai... tonight is the last night for Kiddush Levana." We generally don't say Kiddush Levana on Friday nights, for reasons explained in this OU daily halacha . The exception is when the last night to say Kiddush Levana is Friday night and you haven't yet had/taken the opportunity. That month was particularly difficult; clouds had obscured the moon most of the first two weeks of the month. I had, Baruch HaShem, managed to catch a beautiful, clear view of the moon earlier that week. It was bitter cold that night, but it looked like my only opportunity. One of the issues with saying Kiddush Levana on Friday night is that we are afraid someone might carry a siddur outside where there is no eruv. Exactly. Now, most people who daven at the Agudah know very well that R' Fuerst is quite outspoken about the fact that, besides the eiruvim between neighboring homes that many individuals have constructed, there is no kosher community ...

I grew up with this story: My father was a bit on the wild side, so he and his father decided he should enlist in the navy when he was 17. My grandmother was not thrilled, but also realized being on an aircraft carrier off the coast of Korea -- in spite of the, ahem , conflict -- was the best way to ensure my father's safety. She made two requests/demands of my father: "Don't get any tattoos and don't bring back a war bride." My father honored both. As a result, I never, ever, not even once, had any interest in getting a tattoo. The other morning, a person whom I am deeply honored to call a friend asked me about tattoos. You already know my feelings about tattoos, but he didn't. In any case, I told him the ink goes underneath the outer layer of skin (epidermis) -- which is dead and constantly being shed -- and is injected into the dermis -- not  the underlying muscle. That is why the ink doesn't rub off. I wasn't sure how the ink stayed there for so lo...

I had the following conversation with someone who doesn't know me very well on Jan 1 this year: Other guy 😁 Happy New Year! Me I thought we celebrated the new year a few months ago. Other guy 😐 Well, it is a day off. Me I am retired, so I don't get PTO. Other guy 🙄 So have a nice regular day. Me Thank you! That got me thinking about how goyim and Jews celebrate the new year. Goyish conduct: It's the end of the year. Work slows down. Traffic is light. No deadlines have been scheduled. Lots of holiday parties, culminating in an intense night of drinking and "loosening up" to celebrate making it to the end of the year. Party till midnight to be able to greet the very first second of the year with cheers and behaviors that would not be accepted the rest of the year. Then take off the first day of the new year at least exhausted and often hung over. Go back to work till next year's party. Repeat till old age or death wears you down. Yay. Jewish conduct: Spend th...

Catchy title, no? Now you have more insight into why I was a spectacular failure working for a marketing company. (I mean, besides  the fact that I consider marketing just the study of how to lie in the most efficient way to extract the most money from consumers. And, of course, I made no secret of my disdain while working for them.) On the other hand, I am quite good at mathematics. (No, not  arithmetic.. I have trouble balancing my checkbook.) How good am I at mathematics? Consider what is meant by a "continuous function." Basically it means a function (think line on a graph) that you can draw without lifting your pencil. You get it; no breaks or jumps. Of course, you could have a function that has some jumps/breaks; that would be called "piecewise continuous." So far, so good. I know (and can construct) a function that is continuous at only one point. Right... any point you choose except that one, to move from one point to the next would require lifting your penc...