Thought for the Day: We Don’t Greet Each Other on Tisha b’Av in Order to Learn How to Properly Greet People

We all know that the diaspora thought which we are currently suffering is due, at its core, to שנאת חינם/baseless hatred. We all know, as well, that the way out of this stifling, prolonged diaspora is אהבת חינם/baseless love for each Jew. Wouldn't you think that we should go out of our way to greet each and every Jew we see with enthusiasm? Especially to a Jew who doesn't know about Tisha b'Av. I mean, wouldn't that seem to be a better idea than with the downcast eyes and weak, "Hi... but we don't really greet each other on Tisha b'Av", that halacha requires?

A partial answer might be similar to the answer I received many years ago when I first learned about Tisha b'Av. I wanted to know if I could learn Mesillas Yesharim on Tisha b'Av. After all, I reasoned, what better day for character improvement than on Tisha b'Av itself? I was told that no, I could not learn Mesilas Yesharim because it is full of p'sukim and teachings from Chazal; all forbidden to learn on Tisha b'Av. But my question stands, I opined. I was answered: There is a time to work on a cure, and there is a time to experience the malady. Ah. And Yirmiyahu actually told the refugees something similar as he escorted them out of Eretz Yisrael at the beginning of this long and bitter diaspora. As the Jews crossed out of the river on the other side, they started crying. Yirmiyahu told them that if they had cried before crossing the river, they would not have had to suffer exile, but now it was too late.

What follows is a cholent based on what I just saw on this question from Wellsprings of Torah in the name of The Ya'avetz. The gemara (Gittin 58) relates a horrifying story. In short, a carpenter had an apprentice who lusted after his teacher's wife. The apprentice convinced the carpenter that his wife was cheating on him and should divorce her. The carpenter couldn't afford the k'suva, so the apprentice lent him the money. The carpenter divorced his wife, whom the apprentice promptly married. The loan came due and the carpenter did not have the money, so the former apprentice hired the carpenter as his servant. As the carpenter was serving dinner to his former apprentice and former wife, he started to cry. His tears fell into the wine goblets, and there was immediately a heavenly decree that the fate of the Beis HaMikdash was sealed for destruction.

The Yaavetz notes that no actual halachos were transgressed. All was done according to the strict letter of the law. That's the problem. The laws of our Holy Torah are to teach us how to act, not to be used as tools to get what we want. In fact, the gemara goes on to say that Yerushalayim was destroyed because they followed the letter of the law in order to circumvent the spirit of the law.

Why don't we greet each other on Tisha b'Av? Because greeting someone with "Shalom" or asking someone "how are you?" on Tisha b'Av is the height of insincerity. We know how we all are. We know we have no shalom so long as we have not merited the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash. Not greeting each other just intensifies our feelings of loss and longing. When words are forbidden because words can't describe how we are, we can't help but feel more real empathy for our fellow Jew. That is the feeling we want to take with us and begin today turning our greetings into sincere wishes and real concern for our friends. Then we can take this baseless crying and turn it into tears of joy.