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Thought for the Day: If You Need a Sign, Then You May Also Need Some Darkness

I was in St. Louis. We had a nice dinner at the local kosher Indian restaurant that was in the neighborhood near the shul. We got to our hotel on the other side of town; apparently השגחה was not operating when I chose the hotel. I got up in the morning to drive to the Agudah to daven k'vasikin alone, and then finish davening with a minyan. They don't have a vasikin minyan; oh well, I guess השגחה was still not operating. I set the destination into my GPS and started driving. Something seemed odd. The night before the GPS had taken us from the restaurant straight to the freeway and the hotel was just a couple of blocks from the exit. That morning, though, the route was along city streets for a while and then to the freeway. I decided to just double check that I had set the destination correctly. I pulled over a couple of intersections before the freeway entrance I was directed to take. Yup... destination correct, so I pushed "continue with trip" on GPS.

The route had changed in the few seconds while I was stopped! Now it avoided the freeway altogether and took me along poorly lit streets. I even had one narrow miss when a deer ran out in front of me. At least I knew I was going the right way. After all, I had double checked the destination and GPS had never failed me before. Why would it? It has a much larger perspective and deeper knowledge of all the roads than I do.

I finally arrived at the Agudah. Door locked. No Hebrew letters -- not even in Rashi script -- to guide me. I tried the usual 4/2-1-3 (תרי''ג); nope. 1-4-3 (קד''ש); nope. השגחה was really asleep this trip! I tried knocking, but without much hope, as I like to get to shul early. Yes! Someone was also there very early. He let me in, I thanked him, and told him I like to daven k'vasikin and then finish with the minyan. "Me, too," he said, "sunrise is at 6:08 and 33 seconds."

Wait a minute... One person just happens to be there very early, also there to daven k'vasikin and just gave me the time of sunrise to the second? That almost sounds like a השגחה פרטית story.

So I started unpacking this in my mind. HaShem doesn't just let things go on their own and then jump in to tinker every once in a while. HaShem's השגחה פרטית is constant and unwavering. Why do we ask for signs? Why did I pull over when the GPS was guiding me? Did I really know better than the GPS where I was or where I should go? Of course not. But I still got nervous; I needed the reassurance of checking my destination. Why did the route change? I think that was a very cool bit of השגחה פרטית. We are rewarded for trusting HaShem. When we ask for a sign, we don't need as much trust. After all, we have a sign! In order to not decrease our reward, then, HaShem -- in His infinite and more kindness -- makes things a little darker so we can still overcome our nervousness and work on our בטחון.

One more little point. After davening, I wanted to thank the Jew who let me in and told me the time to the second of sunrise. However, when I finished davening, he and all his stuff were already gone.


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