Thought for the Day: Clarity Through Community -- Just Because You Can Do It Doesn't Mean You Should

[Just to let you know... this is not at all what I had planned to write (and, 

בעזרת השם, will write later). This happens sometimes. Go figure.

As I began my life as a Torah observant Jew, there were many, many choices to be made. I am sure I have mentioned this, but just months before getting married, I heard a story on the radio (of course I always listened to news radio stations...) about a study of who is most likely to get taken by a con. The study found that smarter people get taken more often than, well, less smart/sophisticated/educated people. Why? Because they feel they are smart enough to see through a scam. Less smart/sophisticated/educated people, on the other hand, are guided by: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I was not quite 20 and have always considered myself a smart/educated (nope, not sophisticated in the least) person, so that study really resonated with me. I am very distrustful of the biggest scam artist I know: my inner voice, followed closely by my baser desires.

I don't know if the results of that study have held up over time (Google is lukewarm on the idea), but it doesn't really matter at this point. The lesson I took from it is what matters.

One of the things I do to stay on track is model the behavior of those who are successful in whatever endeavor I am undertaking. That was why I got a Ph.D., for example. I admired the great thinkers, and so I followed their path through the university system. Not all great thinkers have advanced degrees, but the overwhelming majority do. I play the odds. It is logical, sound, and objective. Note, please, that the measure of success is highly context dependent. When it comes to being a Torah observant  Jew, the underlying measure of success is twofold -- attachment to HaShem and making His/our Torah the central focus of one's life. It is, IMHO, impossible to judge someone's level of sincere attachment to HaShem. Attachment to HaShem, therefore, is not a measuring stick I can use. Making Torah the central focus of one's life, on the other hand, is something observable and measurable (there is always room for error, but one needs to be real).

I looked around and determined that the "yeshivish" community is the one who most lives that ideal. I know many, many fine, committed, Torah observant Jews who do not wear a black hat when they daven, wear knitted kipot and even colored shirts. There are people who wouldn't daven without a hat, wear velvet yarmulkes, and pressed white shirts whose kashrus I wouldn't trust. Nonetheless, my observation stands about the majority and that is how I chose to dress and live the way I do.

This is an ongoing process. Part of the marvelous adventure in learning Torah is finding out amazing leniencies in surprising places. For example, making fresh pour over coffee on Shabbos. Here is another: starting the second day of Yom Tov early. Here is one that is applicable daily: cooking lasagna and roast beef in the same oven at the same time. Another favorite of mine, wearing a blue thread in your tzitzis. Here's the thing though: do you see people doing those things? Are you the first one to realise this? Your fist question -- a question I learned in graduate school, by the way -- should be: It is unlikely that I am the first person to see how obvious this is... What am I missing?

What am I missing? That is your starting point for any new behavior or idea. Investigate until you discover what you are missing (the usual case), or enjoy your warm bread right out of the oven after kiddush on Shabbos.