Michael el Chayil

My father, of blessed memory, was a very good parent. (I told him that once when I was a teenager. He was really touched. I was surprised he didn't just know that. Now that I am a parent, I know why.) One thing that made him a good parent was that he never made empty threats. He never, ever, even once threatened to kill any of us, no matter how egregious our sin. He would  however, in a very calm and measured tone (making it all the more terrifying) threaten to break our arm. I used to think to myself, "Well... he does have medical insurance, and he looks pretty serious." So I would desist. The Torah gives us two ways to create our own restrictions on ourselves. One can create an new Torah  prohibition by making either a נֶדֶר/vow or a שְׁבוּעָה/oath. They are very similar, but there are some technical differences. The one outstanding difference is that it is a Torah prohibition to make and empty/meaningless שְׁבוּעָה, whereas taking an empty/meaningless נֶדֶר i...

A recent TftD discussed an incredible Radak on T'hillim (145:17) regarding the behavior of predators. The main point is summed up with this line: The lion isn't getting hungry and then looking to kill an animal to fulfill his desire, rather the animal's time to die has arrived, so the lion gets hungry so he can fulfill the Desire of HaShem. I was/am quite amazed by this Radak and was socializing it this morning in kollel. In particular, I was proposing that therefore, lions are not violent and the sheep they eat are not fearful; they are just doing what they are programmed to do. One the yungaleit took exception, and told me: They are doing what animals do, and that includes predators being violent and their prey feeling fear. So began a very animated and fruitful discussion. Which, in fact, is why I love learning in kollel. These are young men who have dedicated their lives to learning Torah. I am both humbled and delighted that they take the time to help me get on the ri...

I signed up for a psychology class once. I learned three things. First, I learned that the unit of measure for a psychology class is the JND -- just noticeable difference. So for example, while black and brown shoes will definitely have a different internal temperature for a given ambient temperature, humidity, exposure to direct sunlight, etc... that difference is less than 1 JND. (No, not 1.0; JNDs are atomic, sort of). Second, I learned that we would be tested on material in the assigned reading that would never be covered in lecture. Throughout my entire college career, I never read a textbook; I just attended lectures and worked out the problems to learn the material. So I dropped the course. Before I dropped, though, I actually learned one very cool concept that I later found discussed by our sages over the last few centuries (Rishonim and Acharonim). Namely, that all we can really observe is correlation; two events that always occur together under certain conditions. Cause and e...

Note: All references to simanim in Shulchan Aruch are in Orach Chaim. What is happening when you are davening? The Shulchan Aruch (98:1) says that you should just concentrate on the plain meaning of the words that are coming out of your mouth. Consider yourself to be standing in the Divine Presence and remove all extraneous thoughts from your mind so that your prayer should be pure. Keep in mind how carefully you would arrange your words if you were standing before a powerful earthly leader. (98:3) Express your prayers as someone who is destitute and has an audience with someone who has the ability to give you everything you need; this is not a bother, but an incredible opportunity. I have a little experience with this. I once worked as the radiation physicist in a hospital that had very antiquated treatment planning facilities. I was granted a 15 minute appointment with the president/CEO/head honcho of the hospital to explain the need and give my recommendation for how to rebuild the ...

In the fall 1993, we had decided that we needed to leave Dallas and move to a Jewish community that was more established. In particular, we needed a Beis Yaakov. (We didn't actually know that term yet, but that is actually what we had in mind.) We were newly Torah observant, and the idea of sending our daughters out of town for high school was not a scenario that was in our mindset at all. We had already rejected California (we were from that and wanted to remain from there) and New York (my father's family had left New  York and always talked about how everyone left in New York envied them). We had been to a chasuna in Chicago and spent a Shabbos here. On Shabbos afternoon my wife saw all the girls going to Shabbos groups; the decision was made. All that remained was finding a job. Baruch HaShem, I had a good friend who had recently moved to Chicago and he was able to help me get an interview at Motorola. I spoke to the hiring manager over the phone (dude... long  before Zoom...

A  TftD went out a few days ago that resulted in some backlash. I got some feedback questioning the propriety of including a certain story. I decided to ask my direct readership (those who get the emails, not those who read the blog) their opinion. I sent out the following survey: Please choose one of the following options: Please remove me from your mailing list. Please remove that story from your blog and get a better system for vetting stories/incidents that might be too edgy. Please put a warning/disclaimer in future emails and on the blog. No worries, I am fine with the email and the post. First, I got a nearly 40%  response rate, which is excellent in the world of online surveys! (That is likely due, in part, to my diligence in keeping my email distribution list to only those actually interested.) The results are in: Average of responses: 3.8. I have therefore left the story in the blog, but added some context: Why is that funny? Substitute "teenager" or "cele...

In my efforts to learn Spanish -- and actually speak to real, live, native Spanish speakers who often do not speak English -- I have had to explain what I meant by "keeping Shabbos." I came up with this answer: The short answer is this: The Jewish people received and accepted the Torah from the Creator. The Torah contains instructions on how to live life. Among these are instructions for Shabbos, with which we can transform an ordinary Saturday into the holy Shabbos, a foretaste of the World to Come. As I was mulling over how to capture the essence of what Shabbos observance means, I had an insight about something that has bothered me for years. Everyone who has anything to do with קירוב רחוקים/bringing Jews back to Torah observance, will tell you that getting them a taste of Shabbos is key. Anyone with a brain in their head who has truly experienced Shabbos can testify to the veracity of that statement. I have asked the dayan, R' Fuerst, shlita, about having people for a...

Many, many years ago -- when network TV was more or less still kosher -- Johnny Carson had a centenarian (a person who has reached the age of 100 years or older) as a guest. The guest mentioned that he had a lady friend. Johnny Carson looked surprised and said, "Oh, for companionship?" The guest answered, "Yes, that too." Obvious laughter, cut to commercial. Why is that funny? Substitute "teenager" or "celebrity" for "centenarian" and the whole interview never would have happened. That "joke" for them is simply that they expect that a centenarian is, nebbich, too old to have any fun in life. He is proud to report that he is just as disgraceful a human being as he ever was. We know differently. Chazal know full well the challenges that we face our entire lives. I first discovered this when learning masechta Kiddushin, which relates a frightening and inspiring challenge that Rav Amram Chasida/The Pious One faced and triumphed. (...

It is always tricky to translate from one language to another, especially languages as different from each other as English and Hebrew. Take the words אבות  and תולדות, for example. In the context of familial relations, they would be translated as "ancestors" and "chronicles/history". In the context of Shabbos, though, they mean more like "categories" and "constituents". Interestingly, the name given to each category of מלאכה seems to be just one of the constituents. So much so, that they gemara brings a two different ways to determine whether a particular מלאכה is an אב or a תולדה. Speaking of fathers and categories, I can't help but repeat one of my father's favorite jokes about racism:  A row broke out on a bus in the old south during the 50s (middle of last century).  The fight was over who could sit where.  The bus driver we fed up and declared, "No more fighting! This is ridiculous!  There is no white, there is no black; every...

I am trying something new. I have always learned everything by starting at the beginning and just moving through. After all, the author knows what they want to convey and what they believe is the best way to do that. It strikes me as the height of arrogance to think I know better than the creator before I have even started!  (And I am an expert on arrogance; if I do say so myself.) But now I am in kollel, so time to start learning like a kollel man. I started Shabbos (it is the next masechta after Brachos, after all), which begins by discussing הוצאה/carrying things out and in. The topic of הוצאה is discussed in through 9a, then veers to another topic. הוצאה is picked up again on 96a for a few daf. I was told that when the kollel learned this a few years ago, they learned all of הוצאה together. And Lakewood is now learning הוצאה and that is how they are doing it. Ok, at this point, if I were to learn it in order, that  would be the height of arrogance. So last week I skip...

Never heard the term "DMC"? It means "deep meaningful conversation". The first time I heard the term was from the daughter of a neighbor and close friend who had come back from seminary and was struggling with shidduchim. She had (and still has) a very close relationship with her mother. I saw her one afternoon and she had a particularly thoughtful look on her face. I asked her about it, and she told me, with a very sincere smile, that she and her mother had just had a DMC. (She has since married to a wonderful young man. Baruch HaShem, our families are still closer despite the years and distance.) This week's parasha begins with the Jewish nation on the verge of entering the promised land, then details how their bad decisions earned them 40 years of exile in the desert, and finishes with the mitzvah of ציצית. The very last verse of this parasha ends (in translation): I am HaShem, your G-d Who took you out of the land of Mitzrayim to be for you your G-d; I am Ha...

In a recent TftD , which was really about why we got the Torah (Go Team Klal Yisrael!), I mentioned that it is simply logical to not eat the limb of a living animal. After all, besides fish eating live fish and small reptiles/amphibians eating live bugs, animals kill their prey before eating it. Here is what Gemini says about it: So, while the image of a predator instantly killing its prey might not always be precisely accurate in every second of a hunt, the overwhelming preference and typical strategy for large land animals is to kill their prey as efficiently as possible to minimize risk and ensure a successful meal. As my daughter told me recently, I have found my people... I love learning in kollel in the morning and they more than put up with my presence. I often share ideas when getting coffee and/or passing each other outside beis medrash. (Inside beis medrash everyone is constantly busy!) It is a great environment for me because I have a huge pet peeve; I hate being wrong. In t...

I had the incredible opportunity to write a letter in a sefer Torah. I started the day learning and davening, then went to shiur by R' Fuerst, shilta, then to the mikveh, then to write the letter. What letter did I have the zchus to write in a sefer Torah that was dedicated to the memory of Mr. Rudy Tessler, ztz''l, a holocaust survivor whom I am very proud to have personally known (and behind whom I davened for years)? We'll get to that.... Writing a sefer Torah is one of the 613 mitzvos. The Rosh (brought in Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 270:2; see Shach and Taz there) says that we can fulfill that mitzvah by buying s'farim and learning them. I have done that and do that and hope to continue doing that for as long as HaShem grants me the ability to do so. Still, even if that is 100%, first class way to fulfill that mitzvah, you can't possibly compare that to the coolness factor of actually taking quill to parchment. One thing, though. There are a few requirements...

I was not popular in college. Some reasons are still evident five decades later, others are no longer relevant. In any case, one day I finally mustered the courage to ask out a freshman (I was a junior and still younger than her; one of the reasons I was not popular). In a moment of weakness, she said yes. She regained her sensibilities before I picked her up, so when I arrived she told me she had an exam to study for, and so had to cancel our date. She felt badly enough to invite me in for some popcorn before shooing me off. I wasn't so dense as to be oblivious to what just happened, but I had no better option, so I took her up on it. I wasn't there for more than 15 or so minutes. She asked me why I chose to be a physics major. I struggled to explain, and then said, "I mean, haven't you ever wondered why the sky is blue?" She got a puzzled look on her face and said, "No." I don't know if there is a punctuation mark for her tone. Kind of a mixture of...

[Just to let you know... this is not at all what I had planned to write (and,  בעזרת השם, will write later). This happens sometimes. Go figure. As I began my life as a Torah observant Jew, there were many, many choices to be made. I am sure I have mentioned this, but just months before getting married, I heard a story on the radio (of course I always listened to news radio stations...) about a study of who is most likely to get taken by a con. The study found that smarter people get taken more often than, well, less smart/sophisticated/educated people. Why? Because they feel they are smart enough to see through a scam. Less smart/sophisticated/educated people, on the other hand, are guided by: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I was not quite 20 and have always considered myself a smart/educated (nope, not sophisticated in the least) person, so that study really resonated with me. I am very distrustful of the biggest scam artist I know: my inner voice, followed clos...

My grandfather (with whom I was very close and in many way set my direction in life) was a graduate student of Electrical Engineering at CalTech, one of the top universities for science and engineering to this day. He told me about a student defending his thesis whose professors (to start things off) asked him to write down something basic. He turned to them and said (with a smirk), "I would have thought gentlemen of your caliber would already know that." He was hoping it would lighten the mood. It didn't; it was a bad move. I actually saw nearly the same thing in my own graduate career. One of the professors was my thesis advisor and I had never seen him get angry nor raise his voice. When the postdoc who was giving a presentation made a similar remark, I saw the back of my research adviser's neck turn an amazingly deep shade of red. It did not go well for the postdoc. Talmud Bavli begins with Masechta Brachos, which begins with a mishna that begins with these words:...

I went to the kollel on erev Shavuos for mincha/ma'ariv because it is across the street from my daughter where we were having the s'uda that night and because, well... I learn there; I reasoned there was a good chance I would also hear a shiur from the rosh kollel. As it turns out, the rosh kollel spoke that night at the Agudah, which is where I typically daven at night. מאן טראכט און ג-ט לאכט/Man plans and G-d laughs, as the Yiddish expression goes. Since I have started reviewing Brachos, I figured I may as well start there. However, instead of opening to the first mishna/daf, I checked out the stuff before that. I struck gold. The הקדמה/introduction of R' Nissim Gaon. I thought it was just an introduction to Masechta Brachos; oh, no.... it is an introduction to Shas! In fact, R' Nissim starts with this question: Why did only the Jews get the Torah? I have wondered that myself for a long time, though I framed the question as "Why are there people who are not bound...

Many, many people will stay up all night learning tonight. Many, many of those will be a wreck the next day. In fact, the learning at 3:00 AM is not always so great. Davening will be difficult the next morning. Baruch HaShem the reading of Megilas Rus won't be till the second day, so there is a chance I can pay attention. It is also likely that there will be less learning than usual on the first day, as those of us who pulled an all-nighter are going to be recovering. (Just speaking for myself, I do not recover as quickly now as I did in my 20s and 30s and even 40s and 50s.) For all those reasons, many, many people will not  stay up all night learning. It just doesn't make sense. Why do we do it? Apparently because the generation who actually stood at Har Sinai fell asleep that night and needed to be woken with shofar blasts. So we are repairing that. Hang on.. .they were the generation that left Mitzrayim, saw a year of miracles, crossed through the Yam Suf, ate mahn. It is un...

It is sort of a joke, but it's a frightening reality for many people: Whoever dies with the most toys wins! Substitute pretty much anything for "toys" and you have the same problem. Here's a good one: Whoever dies with the most "dahf gemara"s wins! How about, "Whoever has the longest seder wins!"? I have a whole TftD on keeping priorities straight. What do Chazal say about it? There is a machlokes between R' Meir and R' Yehuda (Nedarim 9b) regarding how to read a verse in Koheles (5:4) ט֖וֹב אֲשֶׁ֣ר לֹֽא־תִדֹּ֑ר מִשֶּׁתִּדּ֖וֹר וְלֹ֥א תְשַׁלֵּֽם/It is better not to make a pledge, than to pledge and not pay. The basic issue is that this seems too obvious to mean what is says. This verse comes on the heels of a verse that warns us not to delay making good on our vows. R' Meir reads this as: "If you do  make a pledge, then you need to pay; but it is better not to make that pledge in the first place, as you may come to not pay it....

Even if you have never done it, we all know the concept of cramming for exams. You learn material differently when you are being tested. I know a physician who had an epiphany as he walked out of his first exam in medical school. Up to that point in his life, the routine for classes had been to learn the material, cram for the test, dump all that material out of his brain to make room for the material the next semester, repeat. As he was about to dump out the knowledge he had just gained, he realized, "Oh no! I need this knowledge to be a good physician! People's lives will depend on me retaining this knowledge!" In other words, he then realized that entering the field of medicine meant pop quizzes on life and death matters at any moment. We are all actually in that position. As Rashi brings on our introduction to Noah (B'reishis 6:9), אֵלֶּה תּֽוֹלְדֹת נֹחַ נֹחַ אִישׁ צַדִּיק/These are the generations of Noah, Noah was a righteous man. Says Rashi, quoting Chazal: To ...

The following has been written absolutely with the permission of my amazing grandson. In fact, he was touched that I wanted to write about this. I have had the merit this year to have a steady chavrusa with my grandson who is in 8th grade. This is not "intro to gemara" any more. By the time a bachur gets to 8th grade, they are learning topics in depth with Rashi and Tosafos. They learn Bava Kama and one of the first topics they learn is when one ox damages another. Most oxen are tame and they were quite common in ancient cities, and really enabled commerce the way trucks do nowadays. When a normal ox -- תם/innocent -- gores another ox, it is considered an unusual event and is dealt with as such. First, the owner of the ox only pays half the value of the ox he killed; which is know as חצי נזק/half damages. Second, there is a cap on the liability, which is the value of the animal itself. That is know as מגופו/from its own value. The word "גוף", of course, literally me...

There are two words for "fat" in Hebrew: שׁוּמָן/subcutaneous fat, which is the fat just under the skin and is jiggly חֵלֶב/visceral fat, which is the fat around organs and is relatively firm The fat you see in and around you steak is שׁוּמָן/subcutaneous fat. You are never going to see חֵלֶב/visceral fat in your cholent (Ashkenazim, anyway, who make cholent the right way, i.e., with beef.) That is because the חֵלֶב/visceral fat is forbidden under penalty of spiritual excision. חֵלֶב/visceral fat from non-domesticated animals, such as deer, is not forbidden. (If you ever make a venison cholent, please let me know.) Moreover, it is not a Torah prohibition to cook and even eat venison with milk (deer, cow, or otherwise). Of course you know that Chazal forbade it. There is an interesting animal called the כוי/koy (yes... there is no translation) that is an animal that is on the spectrum (oh aren't I so woke!); somewhere between a domesticated animal and a non-domesticated an...

We know that (at least since the second set of tablets) that there is a prohibition to write the תורה שבעל פה/Oral Law. Over the centuries, and always only after careful consideration, parts have been put in written form. Like a life saving surgery, as much is revealed as necessary, but no more. First the mishnayos were committed to writing, then the gemara. Nonetheless, the mishnayos and gemara have been written in a way that learning them really requires a teacher who himself is part of the chain of tradition. Even ArtScroll consulted with sages of our generation on how to handle the translation into English. See their introduction and the הסכמות/approbations. Interestingly, while there has always been a main core of the תורה שבעל פה/Oral Law that everyone knew and passed from generation to generation/rebbi to talmid, there were also lesser known -- thoroughly authentic -- teachings that were known to fewer sages. When a sage said something in beis medrash that had not been ...

It's erev Shabbos. Typical Jewish home.. everyone has lots to do. I think it is pretty common for each of the children to have their own responsibilities Children don't always do everything they are supposed to do. As parents we give them "consequences." This family has a simple rule: If you don't take care of your responsibilities on erev Shabbos, then you don't get dessert Friday night. Perfectly appropriate and effective. One week, Mommy tells the children: You have all been so good the last few months, I want you to have some time on Friday to do what you want. You don't have to do your jobs this week and I'll be sure there is a special dessert. Wow! Everyone runs off to do whatever they like best with all this extra free time. Except one... little Shprintze, who is crying! "But Mommy! I want dessert! How will I have dessert if I don't set the table?!" Mommy is a little surprised and tries to talk to Shprintze, but Shprintze is so cau...