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Thought for the Day: It’s the Siyum, Not the Kaddish That Is a Merit for the Niftar

Ok... this is short, but oh so practical.

As mentioned in a previous TftD, I endeavor each year to make a siyum on a seder of mishnayos for both my father and father-in-law. Their yahrzeits are far enough apart that it is more or less practical. What is less practical, though, is getting a minyan together for the kaddish. One option is to just announce after ma'ariv at some shuls that I am making a siyum for a yahrzeit. People are accommodating, but it is not always convenient for everyone there. My father's yahrzeit is 13 Adar I... but when there is only one Adar, then people are often in a rush to get home to help with Purim preparations. 

So I had a thought. I wondered if making a siyum with people dancing around wanting to leave is really such a great z'chus for the niftar. Maybe I would be better off making the siyum on Sunday morning when people have more time and are more amenable. Besides, there is a larger crowd, so no one feels trapped. On the other hand, I know there are big things happening in the spiritual realms on the yahrtzeit, so maybe that is more important. As usual, I waited to ask R' Fuerst which would be better. As is not uncommon, the rabbi had a third approach.

Namely, who says you need to have a minyan? Well... I said, you need a minyan to make the kaddish. Yes, said the rabbi; but the siyum is the z'chus for the niftar, not the kaddish. Then Rabbi Fuerst really made his point clear: "Have you ever seen me make a siyum?"  Uh... well.... no.... But, I persisted, do you still say the hadran? "Yes, I have often made the hadran with just my wife there."

Now, I was told by R' Dovid Siegel some years ago that it is important in general to make a public siyum because it encourages others to do the same. I, bli ayin hara, endeavor to make a siyum for my birthday/anniversary every year. This last year someone came over after the siyum and said it was such a cool idea to make a siyum for an anniversary.

Nonetheless, it is good -- and oh so practical -- to know that making a private siyum does not diminish the importance and effect in the upper worlds of making a siyum.

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