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Thought for the Day: A Father Can Always Excuse His Son; the Servant Seeks No Excuses from His King

Thrice daily we (except Shabbos and Yom Tov), we beseech HaShem:

סלח לנו אבינו כי חטאנו, מחל לנו מלכנו כי פשענו, כי מוחל וסולח אתה

Forgive us, our Father, that we have (mistakenly) sinned; pardon us, our King, that we have (intentionally) sinned; because You are the One who Pardons and Forgives.

Poetry that it is, it means what it says; and that meaning was crafted with precision.

I actually started this TftD nearly a year ago. I had an inkling of how to understand this petition, but could not find any good sources. Baruch HaShem, I have finally found solid support for my inkling and an expansion of my understanding. In the Siddur HaMeforash, he brings two sources, the Avudraham and the Ya'aros D'vash.

Both start with noting the the difference between סְלִיחָה/forgiveness and מְחִילָה/pardon. סְלִיחָה/forgiveness means a complete erasure of the effect of the sin. מְחִילָה/pardon, on the other hand, means that we accept that some the erasure of the effect of the sin comes with some pain/punishment.

The Avudraham give what I think is the simple, straightforward explanation. Pretty much no matter what the child does, the parent considers it a mistake. (We are talking normal relationships here.) What parent hasn't heard "I hate you" from their child and had not even a fleeting thought to hold that against their child. So we come to HaShem as our father -- perhaps a bit sheepishly -- and declare that every error we made was a mistake and we are so sorry. Our Father of course grants סְלִיחָה/forgiveness without a second thought.

On the other hand, a truly dedicated servant who wants to serve his King as befits royalty wants no special treatment. He begs for מְחִילָה/pardon for even the slightest mistake. Not taking care to avoid mistakes is itself tantamount to an act of willful sin. Therefore we approach HaShem and express that we know He is our Father and we know that we need the סְלִיחָה/forgiveness of a Father. But we also know that HaShem is our King. Our aspiration is to be able to live up the high standards of a true servant of HaShem. For that we need מְחִילָה/pardon -- forgiveness, yes, but for forgiveness that comes from be willing to suffer whatever punishment befits the sin and the sinner,

The Ya'aros D'vash takes what I consider a more psychological approach. When a person slips up once, twice, now and then, he himself considers it an accident for which he should deserve complete סְלִיחָה/forgiveness. After all, HaShem is our Father and wants to be understanding. On the other hand, one who is constantly falling in the same pattern of sin time after time, year after year, decade after decade ... Well, that person can't possibly feel it is an accident. It is something like a disease in his soul and he needs whatever treatment/chemotherapy is needed to eradicate that behavior. He therefore approaches the King and asks for the full measure of whatever it takes to gain מְחִילָה/pardon.

Both the Avudraham and the Ya'aros D'vash see this supplication as merging to a level where fear and love become one -- we want to be chastised because we want help to not sin at all, as sin puts up a barrier between us and our King. We want to be close to our King because He is also our Father. We are royalty and we yearn to experience that relationship of a prince to his Father the King.

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