Skip to main content

Thought for the Day: It's the Three Weeks, So Saying Is שהחיינו Problematic; הטוב והמטיב Though... Quite the Opposite

Historical note for context: This event happened in 2020, just as shuls were starting to open for socially distant and masked davening.
 
When we first started "sheltering in" (nice, parve term for trying not to die and take others with us during this pandemic), I brought my shtender home. I literally cried as I walked with it out of the beis medrash that I had called home nearly every morning for three hours of davening, learning, and imbibing the ru'ach of the camaraderie of those whose sole focus is to daven in the best way possible.

Then came the time, Baruch HaShem, to return to davening together in my beloved beis medrash. (Lest you think the term "beloved" is overly dramatic, please note that I have davened there every morning that I am in town -- save a few weeks during chemotherapy and one Shabbos when I overslept -- since parshas Sh'lach of 1994. I have spent as many waking/productive hours there and nearly any other location.) One problem -- my wife really like the ambience our home had acquired by having a מקום קבוע/fixed place to daven. She, in fact, would daven there on Shabbos morning while I went to the vasikin minyan.

What to do? I needed (ok, wanted; no, needed) my shtender back in beis medrash with me. My lovely wife wanted a shtender in our home; it gave our home an enhanced יידישע טעם. A wife who wants something in the her home is a husband's need to make every effort to provide. Then the stimulus check came and we decided to buy a shtender for the house -- a real life example of זה נהנה וזה נהנה/everyone benefits. We got recommendations and found a craftsman who does extraordinary work -- Shtenders By Design. Expensive, yes; but there was some left of the stimulus check, and it was stimulating the economy, and ... need I gone on? Desire creates beautiful excuses.

We ordered it at the end of May; it arrived almost two months later; it's a heimisch place one man shop; no problem. Well, one problem: it arrived on 17 Tammuz, the first day of the Three Weeks... during which time we try not to make the bracha of שהחיינו. What now? I called the Chicago Beis Horaah -- (773)539-4141/info@midwestbaishoraah.org. I was told that I could just wait till Shabbos and make the שהחיינו then when I first used is Shabbos morning. Since it was Thursday, that didnt' seem like such a big deal to the rav.

Well.... I explained to the rav that the shtender was for both my wife and I and if she wants to use the shtender Shabbos morning while I am at vasikin. "Ah," said the rav, "so you are going to make the bracha of הטוב והמטיב and not שהחיינו!" Well, yes... but what difference does that make, I inquired.

The context here is that on good tidings -- winning the lottery, having a baby boy, getting a new shtender, etc -- the rule is: if it only benefits one person, the bracha is שהחיינו; if multiple people benefit, the bracha is הטוב והמטיב. New bicycle to commute to work, שהחיינו; new car for the family, הטוב והמטיב. Yes, this shtender was for both of us -- in fact, my wife probably uses it more than I do now that we are fully back at shul. Besides, it is a beautiful piece of furniture. Be that as it may, again I ask -- what does that have to do with the price of tea in China? We don't make that bracha during the Three Weeks except on Shabbos. Right?

The rav (patiently) explained to me that there is no issue with the concept of praising/thanking HaShem for good tidings during the Three Weeks. The problem is the wording of the bracha. The bracha of שהחיינו is all encompasing -- Who has granted us life, and sustained us, and brought us to this season/time. The Three Weeks are  difficult season in the Jewish calendar. It is neither sensitive to the even nor particularly respectful to the woeful events that still bring us heartache to this day (may we be redeemed from the long and harsh exile soon and in our lifetimes). It would be like Mrs. Lincoln saying, "Well, other than that, the seats were quite comfortable at the Ford Theater that night." On the other hand, the bracha of הטוב והמטיב simply means "Who is Good and Who does Good." Nothing disrespectful about that -- just the opposite: even though we are going through a rough patch, we acknowledge with joy that HaShem loves us and is going everything for our benefit.

Cool. So as soon as my wife got home, we opened the siddur on our beautiful new shtender and joyfully declared: Praised art Thou, King of the Universe, Who is Good and Who does Good! Amein!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thought for the Day: אוושא מילתא Debases Yours Shabbos

My granddaughter came home with a list the girls and phone numbers in her first grade class.  It was cute because they had made it an arts and crafts project by pasting the list to piece of construction paper cut out to look like an old desk phone and a receiver attached by a pipe cleaner.  I realized, though, that the cuteness was entirely lost on her.  She, of course, has never seen a desk phone with a receiver.  When they pretend to talk on the phone, it is on any relatively flat, rectangular object they find.  (In fact, her 18 month old brother turns every  relatively flat, rectangular object into a phone and walks around babbling into it.  Not much different than the rest of us, except his train of thought is not interrupted by someone else babbling into his ear.) I was reminded of that when my chavrusa (who has children my grandchildrens age) and I were learning about אוושא מילתא.  It came up because of a quote from the Shulchan Aruch HaRav that referred to the noise of תקתוק
Post a Comment
Read more

Thought for the Day: Love in the Time of Corona Virus/Anxiously Awaiting the Mashiach

Two scenarios: Scenario I: A young boy awakened in the middle of the night, placed in the back of vehicle, told not to make any noise, and the vehicle speeds off down the highway. Scenario II: Young boy playing in park goes to see firetruck, turns around to see scary man in angry pursuit, poised to attack. I experienced and lived through both of those scenarios. Terrifying, no? Actually, no; and my picture was never on a milk carton. Here's the context: Scenario I: We addressed both set of our grandparents as "grandma" and "grandpa". How did we distinguish? One set lived less than a half hour's drive; those were there "close grandma and grandpa". The other set lived five hour drive away; they were the "way far away grandma and grandpa". To make the trip the most pleasant for all of us, Dad would wake up my brother and I at 4:00AM, we'd groggily -- but with excitement! -- wander out and down to the garage where we'd crawl
Post a Comment
Read more

Thought for the Day: What Category of Muktzeh are Our Candles?

As discussed in a recent TftD , a p'sak halacha quite surprising to many, that one may -- even לכתחילה -- decorate a birthday cake with (unlit, obviously) birthday candles on Shabbos. That p'sak is predicated on another p'sak halacha; namely, that our candles are muktzeh because they are a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור and not  מוקצה מחמת גופו/intrinsically set aside from any use on Shabbos. They point there was that using the candle as a decoration qualifies as a need that allows one to utilize a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור. Today we will discuss the issue of concluding that our candles are , in fact, a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור and not מוקצה מחמת גופו. Along the way we'll also (again) how important it is to have personal relationship with your rav/posek, the importance of precision in vocabulary, and how to interpret the Mishna Brura.  Buckle up. After reviewing siman 308 and the Mishna Brura there, I concluded that it should be permissible to use birthday candles to decorate a cake on Shabbo
Post a Comment
Read more