I don't think I am overstating the case to say that one cannot live a proper Jewish life without having a rav. (Some people are their own rav... the doctor who treats himself has a fool for a patient.) There are many, many, many halachic issues the depend on weighting and balancing several factors. For example: using a tea bag to make tea on Shabbos, opening soda bottles on Shabbos, carrying in a public thoroughfare on Shabbos, keeping an ice pop in the (previously unopened) plastic wrapper while eating it on Shabbos, on Shabbos. Given that there are sensitive to weighting and balancing, and given that a violation of Shabbos is so serious, and given that enjoyment of Shabbos is a cornerstone of Jewish life... you very often have a מחלוקת הפוסקים in how to actually conduct oneself. Given "two Jews, three opinions", it is right on impossible to avoid differences in opinions at the Shabbos table.
So, as my small contribution to Tikun Olam, I herewith discuss some of the important factors (with examples!) when dealing with a matter of contention at the Shabbos table. Let's call the stringent one Homer, and the lenient one Cal. Further, let's consider process issues; that is, Homer refrains from executing the particular process, whereas Cal has no issue with executing said process. There are three basic questions that arise:
So, as my small contribution to Tikun Olam, I herewith discuss some of the important factors (with examples!) when dealing with a matter of contention at the Shabbos table. Let's call the stringent one Homer, and the lenient one Cal. Further, let's consider process issues; that is, Homer refrains from executing the particular process, whereas Cal has no issue with executing said process. There are three basic questions that arise:
- Are the ingredients and utensils necessary for and unique to the process muktzeh for Homer?
- May Homer enable Cal to execute the process?
- May Homer benefit from the fruits of Cal's labors?
- Note: Of course, we are not talking about a case where Cal executed the process solely for the benefit of Homer (whether or not Homer asked); that is never allowed. We are just asking if Homer can benefit from the results of the process once Cal has executed said process for a permissible reason.
The answers to these questions depend on one basic premise: Why is Homer stringent? There are two possible/reasonable positions:
- There are valid poskim on both sides of the issue, Homer decides stringently, Cal leniently.
- Homer feels that his position is correct על פי דין/according to halacha.
Let's take making tea in a כלי שלישי. The Mishna Brura clearly states that making tea in a כלי שני in forbidden, but never addresses the כלי שלישי directly. The Aruch HaShulchan and Chazn Ish rule (for them על פי דין) that it is forbidden. R' Moshe says that using a tea bag in a כלי שלישי on Shabbos is permissible without qualification. R' Fuerst rules stringently; the CRC (and R' Ribiat) rule leniently. We are clearly in case (A) -- Homer is conducting himself stringently. Let's play this out: The tea bags are not muktzeh, because Homer himself would make tea in a כלי שלישי for a non-dangerously ill Jew who wanted/needed hot tea on Shabbos. Moreover, Homer may even get the hot water and tea bag(s) for Cal. Now Cal is enjoying his hot tea and has some left over that he does not want. Homer may indeed enjoy the leftover hot tea. We are not worried that Cal may have made extra for him; after all, we all agree that Cal is doing nothing wrong.
That was fun! How about soda bottles? Homer doesn't open soda bottles on Shabbos, but Cal does. Regarding muktzeh, not a problem in this case either; after all, there is a permissible way to get the soda out (by destroying the lid, for example). (2) and (3) are similarly permitted. (3) is even easier in this case, because Cal can't get one glass of soda without opening the entire bottle.
Of course, there are times when you are in situation (B). Much more difficult, as the items are very likely to be muktzeh for Homer and he certainly may not benefit from the results of Cal's labors. Regarding (2), though... you are in murky territory navigating through choppy waters between לפני עיוור and שלום בית. There are no guidelines... each case depends on the details of the process, the possible transgressions, and the family dynamics. This calls for שאלת חכם; you need to ask your rav before Shabbos and before the situation arises. And don't try acting all innocent with "oh... gosh... I didn't know this would come up... tsk tsk." Of course you did.
That was fun! How about soda bottles? Homer doesn't open soda bottles on Shabbos, but Cal does. Regarding muktzeh, not a problem in this case either; after all, there is a permissible way to get the soda out (by destroying the lid, for example). (2) and (3) are similarly permitted. (3) is even easier in this case, because Cal can't get one glass of soda without opening the entire bottle.
Of course, there are times when you are in situation (B). Much more difficult, as the items are very likely to be muktzeh for Homer and he certainly may not benefit from the results of Cal's labors. Regarding (2), though... you are in murky territory navigating through choppy waters between לפני עיוור and שלום בית. There are no guidelines... each case depends on the details of the process, the possible transgressions, and the family dynamics. This calls for שאלת חכם; you need to ask your rav before Shabbos and before the situation arises. And don't try acting all innocent with "oh... gosh... I didn't know this would come up... tsk tsk." Of course you did.
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