In parashas תולדות, we are told of one of the most difficult tests for our illustrious patriarch, Yaakov Avinu. Yaakov is the ultimate איש אמת/man of Truth, and he is given the task of subverting his father's plan to give the brachos to the evil Esav. Why Yitzchak Avinu wanted to give the brachos -- which would have been a horrific disaster, and why HaShem wanted him to be put in a position where he needed to be tricked by Yaakov Avinu to do the right thing -- and for which Yitzchak Avinu was very thankful, and how Rivka Imeinu knew that and what to do are all very, very interesting topics. All very, very far outside the scope of this TftD.
I want to focus on a single point. When Esav learns of the subterfuge he was devastated; וַיִּצְעַ֣ק צְעָקָ֔ה גְּדֹלָ֥ה וּמָרָ֖ה עַד־מְאֹ֑ד/he howled a very, very great and bitter cry (B'reishis 27:32). (Why it meant so much to him is also outside the scope of this TftD.) The medrash says that Klal Yisrael were punished for causing Esav to scream in pain like this, and the punishment came out the time of Purim when it was Klal Yisrael's turn to scream out in terror!
Also puzzling is that when Rivka told Yaakov the he needed to leave for a while to let Esav cool off; until Esav forgot what he (Yaakov Avinu) had done to his brother (B'reishis 27:45). What Yaakov Avinu had done to Esav?! But it was all at the behest of Rivka Imeinu herself -- the very one now saying, "Tch, tch... you really did it this time."
All through the incident we see nothing but Yaakov Avinu trying his utmost to avoid actually lying outright to his father. What we do not find, explains R' Henoch Leibowitz, ztz"l, is Yaakov Avinu being particularly stressed about actually taking the brachos from Esav. Of course, explains R' Henoch, Yaakov Avinu surely cried and was pained that his brother was so far off course that he could not be brought back. None the less, for a Yaakov Avinu it was uncaring and insensitive. R' Henoch goes on to explain that there is a great lesson for us when dealing with our own brethren who are off track. Of course there are times when we cannot bring them back. There are even times when we need to distance ourselves from them. But that must always, always be with a concomitant sorrow and deep regret that we cannot find a way to reach them.
I read those words and I heard that message... but, I admit, I didn't feel them. I didn't know how to internalize that message and really feel that pain. Until, that is, I connected it with something my daughter told me. My daughter is a middle school teacher. We have all heard the horrifying news of mass shootings, even at schools. Schools, therefore, now have training in how to respond in a "shooter situation". It is pretty much what you would expect; get yourself and your students to a safe room, lock the room, stay together away from windows, and wait for instructions.
There is one more thing -- once the door is locked, it has to remain locked; open for no one until the situation is resolved. Even if there is a child banging on the door, and crying and pleading to be let in, crying he is so scared... the teacher can do nothing but leave the door locked. The shooters, you see, try to grab a straggler and force him to cry and bang on the door. So that door has to be remain locked; the teacher is responsible for the lives of all the children in that room. There is no option.
I am crying again as I write and reread those words. When we know Jews who are "off the derech"; we may have to even distance ourselves from them. But we also have to know, they are being coerced by the greatest terrorist of all, the יצר הרע/Satan. He has a gun and worse to their head. How can we not cry?
I want to focus on a single point. When Esav learns of the subterfuge he was devastated; וַיִּצְעַ֣ק צְעָקָ֔ה גְּדֹלָ֥ה וּמָרָ֖ה עַד־מְאֹ֑ד/he howled a very, very great and bitter cry (B'reishis 27:32). (Why it meant so much to him is also outside the scope of this TftD.) The medrash says that Klal Yisrael were punished for causing Esav to scream in pain like this, and the punishment came out the time of Purim when it was Klal Yisrael's turn to scream out in terror!
Also puzzling is that when Rivka told Yaakov the he needed to leave for a while to let Esav cool off; until Esav forgot what he (Yaakov Avinu) had done to his brother (B'reishis 27:45). What Yaakov Avinu had done to Esav?! But it was all at the behest of Rivka Imeinu herself -- the very one now saying, "Tch, tch... you really did it this time."
All through the incident we see nothing but Yaakov Avinu trying his utmost to avoid actually lying outright to his father. What we do not find, explains R' Henoch Leibowitz, ztz"l, is Yaakov Avinu being particularly stressed about actually taking the brachos from Esav. Of course, explains R' Henoch, Yaakov Avinu surely cried and was pained that his brother was so far off course that he could not be brought back. None the less, for a Yaakov Avinu it was uncaring and insensitive. R' Henoch goes on to explain that there is a great lesson for us when dealing with our own brethren who are off track. Of course there are times when we cannot bring them back. There are even times when we need to distance ourselves from them. But that must always, always be with a concomitant sorrow and deep regret that we cannot find a way to reach them.
I read those words and I heard that message... but, I admit, I didn't feel them. I didn't know how to internalize that message and really feel that pain. Until, that is, I connected it with something my daughter told me. My daughter is a middle school teacher. We have all heard the horrifying news of mass shootings, even at schools. Schools, therefore, now have training in how to respond in a "shooter situation". It is pretty much what you would expect; get yourself and your students to a safe room, lock the room, stay together away from windows, and wait for instructions.
There is one more thing -- once the door is locked, it has to remain locked; open for no one until the situation is resolved. Even if there is a child banging on the door, and crying and pleading to be let in, crying he is so scared... the teacher can do nothing but leave the door locked. The shooters, you see, try to grab a straggler and force him to cry and bang on the door. So that door has to be remain locked; the teacher is responsible for the lives of all the children in that room. There is no option.
I am crying again as I write and reread those words. When we know Jews who are "off the derech"; we may have to even distance ourselves from them. But we also have to know, they are being coerced by the greatest terrorist of all, the יצר הרע/Satan. He has a gun and worse to their head. How can we not cry?
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