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Thought for the Day: Not Everyone Thinks Like You Do

Frames of reference have always been a part of the physics toolkit, but the revolution wrought by the discovery of the theory or relativity brought them to the forefront. For a simple example, consider sitting quietly and throwing a ball up a foot or so, then catching it; do that a few times. Nothing extraordinary, right? Suppose you are sitting in the back seat of a car that is traveling at 60 mph. Still no problem, right? How about the surface of a planet traveling at nearly 1,000 mph. Still no problem.

Obvious. However, stand by the side of the road and watch your friend, who is sitting in the back of car going 60 mph down the road performing the same act. What do you see? You see him throwing the ball slightly up -- but mostly forward -- at 60 mph, then racing to catch it; and he does! Not just once, but several times! Unreal! How about a martian watching through a telescope... he sees you and your friend throwing that ball at nearly 1,000 mph, then racing to catch it. His amazement should know no bounds as he watches you and your friend successfully perform this feat over and over again as if it were nothing. Of course, though, they learn freshman physics on Mars also, so none of us are impressed. We all realize that it's just differences in perspective.

I had a wonderful conversation with my two oldest grandchildren, 10 and 11, this past Pesach. Let me rephrase that: in one of the wonderful conversations that I enjoyed with two of my grandchildren over Pesach, I learned a wonderful lesson. I mentioned that I didn't have a cell phone when I was their age. The eldest asked in wide eyed innocence, "You mean you had to memorize phone numbers, Zeidy?!" Cute, right? Even adorable. I was about to answer when her younger brother, looking at her with the disdain that only a little brother can display when showing up his older sister, berated her question: "C'mon! He's not that old!"

Depending on how old you are, you may or may not get how just how hysterically funny that is to me. I certainly did not laugh at my granddaughter's question nor her brother's exasperation. I have, of course, told it over several times to people and it has been appropriately appreciated. It is funny, no question. Why? Because who would have thought there could be such a radical change in world view in such a short period of time?  Aye, but there's the rub. We all have a different world view, and age is not the only factor. Background, culture, and experiences all contribute to our world view. So much so, that no two people could possibly have the same world view.

Our sages put it this way: Just as everyone has a different face, they also have different דעות/opinions/character traits/nature/... well... that doesn't translate very well.  There are three words we have for intellectual maturity:

  • דעת/knowledge -- knowing that a tomato is a fruit
  • בינה - understanding -- knowing that you don't put a tomato in a fruit salad
  • חכמה/wisdom -- knowing when a fruit salad is needed
Understanding and Wisdom work together; knowledge is needed as input to both, of course.  But Rashi in Chumash also says that דעת is Divine Inspiration. Knowledge, we understand, really comes from outside the system. You might be able to complain that someone hasn't exercised their wisdom or understanding. But knowledge/facts... either you know them or you don't.

And that is precisely what Chazal are telling us about a person's דעות. They are from outside the system. I can certainly tell me grandchildren that I did, indeed, memorize phone numbers; but they are never going to really "get it"; because it is just too far outside their frame of reference. That is as much them as the shape of their cute little noses; it is what it is.

So next time someone doesn't react the way you expect or seems to act with insensitivity, you should rejoice that you have just uncovered and easily corrected character flaw! Your own, for thinking they should view the world and expect the same behaviors that you do.


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