Skip to main content

Thought for the Day: Do Not Take Your Spouse For Granted

When I first started becoming frum, I went to several shiurim on taharas hamishpacha.  One of the most important ideas I have ever heard was from R' David Jacobson (now in LA).  He was telling us that one of the rules is that a wife cannot serve food to her husband while she is a nida.  He made this important observation: "And if you'll say that even a maid can serve food, so what's the big deal, I'll answer: How dare you think of your wife in the same category as a maid!"  In fact, in another shiur by another rav on the general topic of how to view one's wife, we were told: Imagine the president of the US were to come to your house for 15 minutes as a special visit on his tour to meet real citizens.  Do you think you would ask, "Say, Mr. President, my dry cleaner is right on your way to the airport, I wonder if you wouldn't mind dropping my laundry on your way?"  Well, then, before you ask your wife something like that, remember that she is more important to you than the president of the US.  Similar exhortations apply to women, they just tend not to need to be reminded so often.

On my way to work this morning, the top dropped off my new bike bell.  My wife had gotten it at Jewel for a few dollars.  I continued riding and thought she will be going back to Jewel in a few days and its only a few dollars, and its probably broken anyway... then I thought, "Wait.  Debbie was very excited that she had gotten the bell I had been talking about for a while.  She certainly had my safety in mind and also thought it would be a cute present.  In fact, it was cute, and I put it on my bike right away when she presented it to me.

Sigh... I turned my bike around and found the bell cover.  It screws on and had come loose; it wasn't broken at all, just needed tightening.  So now I'll remember to check it every few days and that should remind me to check my shalom bayis every few days and make appropriate adjustments.  Maybe.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thought for the Day: Pizza, Uncrustables, and Stuff -- What Bracha?

Many years ago (in fact, more than two decades ago), I called R' Fuerst from my desk at work as I sat down to lunch.  I had a piece of (quite delicious) homemade pizza for lunch.  I nearly always eat at my desk as I am working (or writing TftD...), so my lunch at work cannot in any way be considered as sitting down to a formal meal; aka קביעת סעודה.  That being the case, I wasn't sure whether to wash, say ha'motzi, and bentch; or was the pizza downgraded to a m'zonos.  He told if it was a snack, then it's m'zonos; if a meal the ha'motzi.  Which what I have always done since then.  I recently found out how/why that works. The Shulchan Aruch, 168:17 discusses פשטיד''א, which is describes as a baked dough with meat or fish or cheese.  In other words: pizza.  Note: while the dough doesn't not need to be baked together with the meat/fish/cheese, it is  required that they dough was baked with the intention of making this concoction.  That is, even th

Thought for the Day: What Category of Muktzeh are Our Candles?

As discussed in a recent TftD , a p'sak halacha quite surprising to many, that one may -- even לכתחילה -- decorate a birthday cake with (unlit, obviously) birthday candles on Shabbos. That p'sak is predicated on another p'sak halacha; namely, that our candles are muktzeh because they are a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור and not  מוקצה מחמת גופו/intrinsically set aside from any use on Shabbos. They point there was that using the candle as a decoration qualifies as a need that allows one to utilize a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור. Today we will discuss the issue of concluding that our candles are , in fact, a כלי שמלאכתו לאיסור and not מוקצה מחמת גופו. Along the way we'll also (again) how important it is to have personal relationship with your rav/posek, the importance of precision in vocabulary, and how to interpret the Mishna Brura.  Buckle up. After reviewing siman 308 and the Mishna Brura there, I concluded that it should be permissible to use birthday candles to decorate a cake on Shabbo

Thought for the Day: אוושא מילתא Debases Yours Shabbos

My granddaughter came home with a list the girls and phone numbers in her first grade class.  It was cute because they had made it an arts and crafts project by pasting the list to piece of construction paper cut out to look like an old desk phone and a receiver attached by a pipe cleaner.  I realized, though, that the cuteness was entirely lost on her.  She, of course, has never seen a desk phone with a receiver.  When they pretend to talk on the phone, it is on any relatively flat, rectangular object they find.  (In fact, her 18 month old brother turns every  relatively flat, rectangular object into a phone and walks around babbling into it.  Not much different than the rest of us, except his train of thought is not interrupted by someone else babbling into his ear.) I was reminded of that when my chavrusa (who has children my grandchildrens age) and I were learning about אוושא מילתא.  It came up because of a quote from the Shulchan Aruch HaRav that referred to the noise of תקתוק