Skip to main content

Thought for the Day: The Purpose of Praise in Prayer

The formula for prayer is: shevach, bakasha, hoda'a; praise, requests, expression of gratitude.  Seems simple enough, no?  The Mabit begs to differ.

First of all, buttering someone up before you ask for a favor is not really the more refined of behaviors.  Usually praising someone before asking them to do something for you or give you something is because the request does not have enough merit on its own.  "Look... we've been friends for a long time and you are such a generous person and I know how passionate you are about this and your enthusiasm for helping is legendary and .... and... "  Sounds like a teenager asking for the car keys (guaranteed that request has no merits on its own).

Second, notes the Mabit, Chazal tell us that the thanks are to be said as one who has just received his reward.  Yet, when we start "r'tzei" we are still without the mashiach, yerushalayim, ingathering of the exiles, etc etc.  Many of us are and have davened for cholim who are either still sick or did not recover.  How is it possible, then, to give thanks as one who has already received his reward?

So let's back up.  Why is the supplicant buttering up his benefactor?  The supplicant is actually, in a sense, paying for the gift. Supplicant supplies ego boost, benefactor responds with gift; even exchange.  The system works because the benefactor doesn't really have all those qualities for which the supplicant is praising him.  The more self-doubts the benefactor has, the more he values praise, the more he is willing to pay out to receive said praise.

Suppose, instead, that the supplicant needed a delicate surgery that only one doctor in the world could perform?  Moreover, this one surgeon is independently wealthy and only works on cases for which there is no other qualified surgeon.  Now the supplicant will first need to explain to the doctor that he understands the qualities of the doctor.  It may sound like praise from the outside, but it is really an acknowledgement of the reasons that the supplicant has no other options but to come to this doctor.  Then the supplicant will need to explain precisely the issues afflicting him.  It may sound like requests, but it is really just explaining his condition to the doctor well enough that a precise diagnosis can be made and treatment prepared.

The nimshal is clear.  The praise section of t'fila is not "buttering up"; it is demonstrating that we know before whom we are standing.  The request section is not asking for things, but a further acknowledgement that we know that for all these things, we have no where to turn but to HaShem Himself; not a human benefactor, not a malacha, only HaShem Himself.

What about the thanks section, that is supposed to be said as one who has just received his reward?  The greatest reward of all, the point of existence is to know and believe that we are totally reliant on HaShem.  Each and every t'fila is a further dismantling of our ego, a further distancing from the traps of the yeitzer hara.  There is no greater gift than that.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thought for the Day: Love in the Time of Corona Virus/Anxiously Awaiting the Mashiach

Two scenarios: Scenario I: A young boy awakened in the middle of the night, placed in the back of vehicle, told not to make any noise, and the vehicle speeds off down the highway. Scenario II: Young boy playing in park goes to see firetruck, turns around to see scary man in angry pursuit, poised to attack. I experienced and lived through both of those scenarios. Terrifying, no? Actually, no; and my picture was never on a milk carton. Here's the context: Scenario I: We addressed both set of our grandparents as "grandma" and "grandpa". How did we distinguish? One set lived less than a half hour's drive; those were there "close grandma and grandpa". The other set lived five hour drive away; they were the "way far away grandma and grandpa". To make the trip the most pleasant for all of us, Dad would wake up my brother and I at 4:00AM, we'd groggily -- but with excitement! -- wander out and down to the garage where we'd crawl

Thought for the Day: אוושא מילתא Debases Yours Shabbos

My granddaughter came home with a list the girls and phone numbers in her first grade class.  It was cute because they had made it an arts and crafts project by pasting the list to piece of construction paper cut out to look like an old desk phone and a receiver attached by a pipe cleaner.  I realized, though, that the cuteness was entirely lost on her.  She, of course, has never seen a desk phone with a receiver.  When they pretend to talk on the phone, it is on any relatively flat, rectangular object they find.  (In fact, her 18 month old brother turns every  relatively flat, rectangular object into a phone and walks around babbling into it.  Not much different than the rest of us, except his train of thought is not interrupted by someone else babbling into his ear.) I was reminded of that when my chavrusa (who has children my grandchildrens age) and I were learning about אוושא מילתא.  It came up because of a quote from the Shulchan Aruch HaRav that referred to the noise of תקתוק

Thought for the Day: David HaMelech's Five Stages of Finding HaShem In the World

Many of us "sing" (once you have heard what I call carrying a tune, you'll question how I can, in good conscience, use that verb, even with the quotation marks) Eishes Chayil before the Friday night Shabbos meal.  We feel like we are singing the praises of our wives.  In fact, I have also been to chasunas where the chasson proudly (sometimes even tearfully) sings Eishes Chayil to his new eishes chayil.  Beautiful.  Also wrong.  (The sentiments, of course, are not wrong; just a misunderstanding of the intent of the author of these exalted words.) Chazal (TB Brachos, 10a) tell us that when Sholmo HaMelech wrote the words "She opens her mouth Mwith wisdom; the torah of kindness is on her tongue", that he was referring to his father, Dovid HaMelech, who (I am continuing to quote Chazal here) lived in five worlds and sang a song of praise [to each].  It seems to me that "world" here means a perception of reality.  Four times Dovid had to readjust his perc