Skip to main content

Thought for the Day: Toch K'dei Dibur

One the reasons I like gmail is that after sending an email, you have a few seconds to hit a "Cancel" button, which stops the sending process and lets you reconsider if you should really send that email or not.  I am looking forward to "Google Mouth"... I could really use a cancel button when talking...

For years I thought that halacha also had something like that also, known as "tok'd'dibur".  I didn't know Hebrew at all and was hearing a lot of new terms that people just threw around.  So I figured "tok'd'dibur" was just Hebrew for cancel, or reset, or whatever.  I knew it was 2 or 3 seconds, but was a bit in wonder that it was defined as the amount of time it takes to say "Shalom Aleichem, Rebbi" and some say "Shalom Aleichem, Rebbi u'Mori".  "Good greif!", I thought, "If it's two or three seconds, what difference does it make whether you say u'mori or not?"  Just another confusing detail.  At least I knew that whatever I said, as long as I corrected it within a couple of second, I was good to go.

Except, of course, I wasn't good to go.  First I found out it doesn't always work.  For example, you are holding a cup of (what you think is wine) and say the appropriate bracha.  As you are about to drink, you see you have Diet Coke!  You say "she'hakol n'h'ye bidvaro" right away and you can drink.  On the other hand, during the summer if you say (in bareich aleinu) "v'sein tal u'mater livracha" and immediately add "v'sein bracha" -- sorry, it didn't work; go to the beginning of the bracha.  Confusing!  Second I found out that there is no Hebrew word "tok'd'dibur"; it's a phrase: "toch k'dei dibur" -- "within the time of speaking".

Ah; so that's why it is defined via a phrase, because it depends on the speaker.  Why this phrase?  I have never seen anything, but I will venture a guess that this is the kind of phrase that one says carefully.  It comes out, then, that "toch k'dei dibur" is not really a cancel button.  Instead, it really means that you haven't finished talking.  Now we can (with the help of Halichos Shlomo) understand why it seems to work differently in  different situations.  The way it works is that "toch k'dei dibur" allows you to tack on additional information and have it considered as part of the original statement.

In the first example, then, you ended up saying "baruch atah HaShem, elokeinu melech ha'olam, borei pri hagafen, she'hakol n'h'ye bidvaro".  That is, you didn't say anything wrong, just ended up adding an additional phrase in the middle of the bracha.  You can't do that l'chatchila, but b'di'eved it works.  In the second example, however, getting rain in the middle of summer can actually be damaging, so the whole phrase is ruined and you have to go back to the beginning of the bracha.

Glad to have that clarified.  I still could really, really us a cancel button on my speaking.  Really.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thought for the Day: Love in the Time of Corona Virus/Anxiously Awaiting the Mashiach

Two scenarios: Scenario I: A young boy awakened in the middle of the night, placed in the back of vehicle, told not to make any noise, and the vehicle speeds off down the highway. Scenario II: Young boy playing in park goes to see firetruck, turns around to see scary man in angry pursuit, poised to attack. I experienced and lived through both of those scenarios. Terrifying, no? Actually, no; and my picture was never on a milk carton. Here's the context: Scenario I: We addressed both set of our grandparents as "grandma" and "grandpa". How did we distinguish? One set lived less than a half hour's drive; those were there "close grandma and grandpa". The other set lived five hour drive away; they were the "way far away grandma and grandpa". To make the trip the most pleasant for all of us, Dad would wake up my brother and I at 4:00AM, we'd groggily -- but with excitement! -- wander out and down to the garage where we'd crawl

Thought for the Day: אוושא מילתא Debases Yours Shabbos

My granddaughter came home with a list the girls and phone numbers in her first grade class.  It was cute because they had made it an arts and crafts project by pasting the list to piece of construction paper cut out to look like an old desk phone and a receiver attached by a pipe cleaner.  I realized, though, that the cuteness was entirely lost on her.  She, of course, has never seen a desk phone with a receiver.  When they pretend to talk on the phone, it is on any relatively flat, rectangular object they find.  (In fact, her 18 month old brother turns every  relatively flat, rectangular object into a phone and walks around babbling into it.  Not much different than the rest of us, except his train of thought is not interrupted by someone else babbling into his ear.) I was reminded of that when my chavrusa (who has children my grandchildrens age) and I were learning about אוושא מילתא.  It came up because of a quote from the Shulchan Aruch HaRav that referred to the noise of תקתוק

Thought for the Day: David HaMelech's Five Stages of Finding HaShem In the World

Many of us "sing" (once you have heard what I call carrying a tune, you'll question how I can, in good conscience, use that verb, even with the quotation marks) Eishes Chayil before the Friday night Shabbos meal.  We feel like we are singing the praises of our wives.  In fact, I have also been to chasunas where the chasson proudly (sometimes even tearfully) sings Eishes Chayil to his new eishes chayil.  Beautiful.  Also wrong.  (The sentiments, of course, are not wrong; just a misunderstanding of the intent of the author of these exalted words.) Chazal (TB Brachos, 10a) tell us that when Sholmo HaMelech wrote the words "She opens her mouth Mwith wisdom; the torah of kindness is on her tongue", that he was referring to his father, Dovid HaMelech, who (I am continuing to quote Chazal here) lived in five worlds and sang a song of praise [to each].  It seems to me that "world" here means a perception of reality.  Four times Dovid had to readjust his perc