Michael el Chayil

As you may recall (or you can refresh your memory here ), I have been going 'round and 'round about whether I can drink a certain beer that I had already purchased before any concerns were known.  The concern was and is: חמץ שעבר עליו הפסח; the brewery in question is Jewish owned (100% Jewish owned, in fact, which is a relevant factor, as will be explained shortly) and they do not sell nor otherwise divest themselves of חמץ during Passover.  That makes any beer that is produced from said חמץ forbidden to all Jews forever by rabbinic decree as a קנס/penalty. There several reasons I have spent so much time on this.  The least reason was that I like that beer and I was at risk of losing $15 worth of it; that is: the remaining 18 bottles from the case I had bought before the news broke.  I will not buy this beer again unless/until they come under kosher supervision, but $15 is $15 dollars.  A vastly more important reason I have spent so much time on this is that t...

My brother, he should rest in peace, spent one reasonably uncomfortable summer in a cast that covered his entire chest.  He had been riding his bike and -- like most 10 year old boys -- not paying a lot of attention to where he was going.  He ended up running into a parked car (don't ask, but if you had known my brother, you would just be smiling and thinking "that's so him") and breaking his collar bone.  He was really sorry that he had done it, he was determined to be more careful in the future, and he was definitely very sorry that he had to wear that heavy cast all summer.  Unfortunately, reality is reality; all the good intentions in the world couldn't change that. Even more unfortunately, there are religions that define themselves by ignoring reality.  Here's a cool quote from one of them: One of the hallmarks of modern living, including modern Jewish living, is the opportunity we have to either follow tradition or invent new traditions. Here's ...

I like a good beer.  Technically, it is a good ale that I like, but in halacha they are both שֵׁכָר  (in fact, Google translate dutifully translates that noun as "beer, ale").  I know that some people think that "good beer" is an oxymoron, but I respectfully disagree.  After all, when one does not have wine for religious ceremonies, beer is the next logical choice.  (Yes, I know חמר מדינה can technically be Diet Coke or orange juice, but let's get real.)  Moreover, the G"ra, as noted by the Mishna Brura, specifically used beer and not  wine for the havdala service marking the conclusion of Pesach.  Basically beer is to wine as ארמית is to לשון הקודש.  Another great thing about beer is that is is all kosher... or so I thought. A couple of weeks ago I received and email from the cRc  informing me that one of my favorite brands of beer was now on the "Not Recommended" list.  Why?  חמץ שעבר עליו הפסח.  Apparently i...

This is not advice, it's just a fact.  If you want to know what is doing in someone's life, do not ask his chavrusa.  Maybe it is different in yeshiva; I wouldn't know, as I never had the merit of attending yeshiva.  Us בעל הבתים/regular Yossies who are at work all day take are precious few minutes in בית מדרש very seriously.  Not to say we don't have fun!  Just this morning I came home late because of having so much fun that I lost track of time.  What happened?  Well... We learn two (usually, sometimes more) halachos after (in the summer, before in the winter) davening from the Orach Chaim section of the Shulchan Aruch as explained by the Mishna Brura and with color commentary by R' Dovid (the Chicago Vasikiner Rebbe).  We are currently learning hilchos brachos; in particular, the thanksgiving blessing (סימן רי''ט).  The general rule is that one makes that bracha after surviving one of four situations: being released from a pris...

My naiveté knows few bounds.  For example, I was shocked to discover that one could be outside a city one day.  I had seen maps of the world, the USA, and California; countries, states, and counties all filled the available space, so I assumed that cities did the same.  I was about 12 years old at the time.  I was somewhat older when I learned that salesmen actually do something more than take your money in exchange for product.  I learned that watching my father, עליו השלום, at work; he was a master salesman and I learned from him that "sales" is actually a transitive verb.  I was about 18 by then.  Somewhat later I learned there is even another level -- putting seller and buyer together is also a skill.  Perhaps the most refined (and oft maligned) of those are the שדכנים/matchmakers.  Finding the right buyer for a house is one thing, but bringing together soul mates is huge!  It can only happen with סיעתא דשמיא/help from...

It's called the Cocktail Party Effect .  Try this sometime you are having a conversation in a room filled with other groups of people have their own independent conversations: Put your tape recorder (I am sure there is an app for that) in your shirt pocket and record a few minutes of your conversation.  When you listen to it later, you'll hear nothing but a sort of blur of white noise.  (Of course, this experiment is only interesting if your original conversation was itself more than a blur of white noise; choose carefully, grasshopper.)  Your mind is able to pick out the relevant bits of sound and present you with a clear channel for communication.  I am kind of like that with shiurim... I have a buzz of thoughts going on in my head while I try -- with varying level of success -- to focus on the content of the shiur.  However, mention something that touches me directly and I am right there. The topic was making shidduchim with geirim and their descendant...

One of my most pleasurable preparations on erev Shabbos is to receive a d'var torah from my eldest granddaughter (2nd grade).  This last week I was treated to a more interactive than usual conversation, as the d'var torah included a quiz; she described a Yom Tov, and I had to guess it.  Of course when she described Yom Kippur, I said, "Purim!"  (המבין יבין; of course she just thought I was being funny).  When she started describing Sukkos, I started right away saying, "Oh!  Oh!  I know! I know!"  She replied that I needed to wait till she finished the question.  Of course, I didn't; but started right away saying I knew.  This time, with her best serious teacher voice, she told me, "Zeidy; you need to work on your self-control."  (Apparently she had come home from school the previous week with two new vocabulary words: self-control and impulsiveness; המבין יבין.) Granted, one is not permitted to prepare on the first day of Yom Tov for t...

The Shulchan Aruch, O.Ch. תקג, rules that one is not permitted to prepare from one day of Yom Tov to the next day.  Not even if the next day is Shabbos, nor second day of Yom Tov (for us in the diaspora), nor even from one day for Rosh HaShana to the next.  That order is known as "לא זו אף זו"/not only this, but also this; that is, increasing order of surprise. First, I am not allowed to prepare for Shabbos, even though I cannot do any preparations at all on Shabbos itself.  Why not?  It is a rule revealed explicitly in the Torah, aka גזירת הכתוב.  At this point, our question if of "why not?" is tantamount to asking "why are protons almost 2000 times heavier than electrons, but have exactly the same opposite charge?"  'Cause they do and 'cause you can't. Even more surprising, I may not prepare for one day of Yom Tov to the next, even though the whole reason for the second day is because I might have been wrong about the first day.  (Yes, ...

Even though Newton (Sir Isaac) is claimed by physics as one of their own, that is not entirely true.  Newton's field was really philosophy.  In fact, Newton spent a good deal more time trying to derive the exact date and time of Creation than he did on his physics.  Over time, his methodologies of analysis and mathematical language -- including his newly invented calculus -- became the norm for describing the physical world; and those are what has lasted.  Even in that, though, you will find a fair amount of philosophy.  Newton's universal law of gravitation makes the bold and totally untested (perhaps even untestable) assumption that the entire universe is run by a single set of principles and by studying what is happening on earth, one understands what is happening everywhere.  Since nearly all of our data comes from earth based laboratories and observations, it's a safe statement to make. The Talmud is not at all interested in making safe statements; i...

As you surely know (since I ensure everyone knows), I have a background in physics, specializing in General Relativity.  One of the cool concepts that relativity introduced into our vocabulary is "space-time".  All that really means is that space (extent) and time (duration) are really just two aspects of the same underlying physical quantity.  Measuring time in seconds and distance in miles, while convenient for everyday practical use, actually makes no more sense than measuring North/South in miles and East/West in millimeters.  Being a nerd and enjoying a good "I told you so" as much as anyone; I was, of course, gratified to see this concept expressed in halacha.  To wit: קידוש במקום סעודה -- the work מקום/place means physical location and time.  The kiddush and the meal must, as much as is practically possible, be in the same place and at the same time. Let's begin with the words of the Shulchan Aruch, O. Ch., 273:3.  First R' Yosef Karo not...

I was once heard to remark (I know this is true because I was there), "There is no inertia in gemara."  The remark was in response to once again having read one or two words further and -- again, once again -- finding myself in a brand new discussion.  No warnings, no dots... nothing; just a completely new discussion.  In fact, though, the frustration for us (relative) new comers to gemara, is that we think that the incidents and cases being presented are the rai·son d'ê·tre of this or that particular daf of gemara.  It's not.  The rai·son d'ê·tre for this or that daf of gemara is to discuss some deep Torah principle that is exemplified by the incidents and cases being presented.  Of course, Chazal are not going to actually tell you what deep Torah principle is being discussed (that's no fun); it is up to the interested reader to ferret that out by finding the common thread. Many Torah lectures follow a similar pattern.  (After all, they gr...

In response to the TftD on serving HaShem with joy as an integral part of chinuch ha'banim, received an email giving another dimension of the attitude by some toward the Chafeitz Chaim's minyan: If the bochurim would wake up late, they would say, "Oh well, now I guess I have to go to the Chofeitz Chaim's minyan. And those 10 minutes of mussar are gonna mess up my day!" That bothered me.  I can understand that even a gadol ha'dor of the stature of the saintly Chafeitz Chaim could seem like "just another rabbi" to his generation.  But to be feel that the mussar would ruin their day!  That means they appreciated who the Chafeitz Chaim was and even so wanted to avoid his beneficial instruction.  The very next day, on my ride to work, I had an opportunity to appreciate their feelings.  I had downloaded three  shiurim on chinuch ha'banim by R' Yisroel Belsky from  mp3shiur.com  (do yourself a favor and listen to all of them, probably a few ti...

Volume 5 ('חלק ה for you frumies) of the Mishna Brura concerns itself with the laws of Passover and Yom Tov in general.  It starts with siman 429, entitled:  We don't fall on our faces (ie, say tachanun) the entire month of Nissan , but the first halacha in that siman is: We (start) asking about the laws of Pesach from 30 days before Pesach.  The Mishna Brura that some say that we need to start 30 days before Pesach (as opposed to other holidays, that do not have that requirement) because there are so many laws of Pesach.  30 days.  All of hilchos Pesach.  30 days.  Maybe that's why the heading of this siman talks about tachanun.  "Wow!  No tachanun for a month!  I'll have so much extra time!"  Then ... wham!  Here's something to do with all that extra time... Being as my Hebrew reading skills are still developing, I try to learn one topic each year.  This year was הגעלת כלים; which Google translates -- I kid you no...

I heard a cute story on a recording of a lecture by R' Yisroel Belsky this morning.  I also heard a horrifying story.  There was also a story that initially shocked me, then saddened me. Here's the cute story: When R' Belsky was six or so, his mother showed him a cartoon from the Saturday Evening Post with two children each holding a large cluster of grapes.  One child was beaming with joy, the other crying and whining to his mother: "He... he... he got 23 grapes and I ONLY GOT 22! "  His mother intent, obviously, was to show how ridiculous it is to cry or to even notice such and "inequity" when you are yourself holding a fortune.  The obviousness of that message is clear to R' Belsky now, but the six year old edition was struck by the tragedy of the horrible injustice. The moral: You can't affect how your children will process information.  The same input data will be understood completely differently by a child than an adult.  In fact, I ...

I was born in Central California (third generation on my mother's side, btw... one of the very few non-Native Americans who can make that claim), then lived in Southern California till early teens, and Northern California till early 20s.  That experience has shaped how I view Florida in (at least) three ways.  First, I have little to no desire to visit Disney World.  I grew up on the original and still -- according to many -- best theme park ever: Disneyland.  Disney World is certainly bigger, but since I never found that Disneyland was missing anything, bigger does nothing for me.  Moreover, the lack up a Matterhorn bobsled ride is simply unconscionable.  On the other hand, I am very annoyed at California's shameful treatment of orange groves.  My first school and second house were surrounded by beautiful, lush forests  of orange trees.  Their decimation is horrifying and also unconscionable.  Finally, growing up in California (which is...

When I was but a wee lad, my grandfather taught me an essential life lesson... that's wrong; while I was but a wee lad, one of the essential life lessons that my grandfather taught me was how to flatten a rolled sheet of paper.  Just laying it flat, of course, doesn't do the trick.  He taught me that to flatten something that has been rolled, you need to roll it the other way.  That essential "trick" works on a much broader venue than just sheets of paper, of course.  The most explicit example in the Jewish year is the עשרת ימי תשובה, the ten days from Rosh HaShanah through Yom Kippur, inclusive.  The Shulchan Aruch says that one should take extra stringencies on oneself during that time as part of the whole repentance package.  We are extra scrupulous for 10 days a year -- doing things that are beyond our normal capability to sustain -- in order to straighten out our twisted souls. Pesach, of course, is also known for its stringencies regarding...

Imagine planning a trip to Disney Land with the family.  Telling you kids all about how fun it is, telling them about the rides you used to enjoy most when you went there with your family.  How special and excited you felt when you were finally old enough to go on the Matterhorn and your dad took just you.  Then you pack up the car with food, all pile in, drive to the Disney Land, pay for parking.... then make a U-turn and head back home.  Now imagine crying children, an angry wife, and years of counselling. That's basically the scenario when you don't answer the four questions at the seder.  Just reading Rabban Gamliel's three answers without explaining what you just answered is not much better.  Moreover, Rabban Gamliel only has three things to explain!  What's the answer to the fourth question... and why don't we need that to fulfill our obligation?  Let's give it a whirl. Rabban Gamliel starts with the korban pesach.  Now, if you are ...

Here is a ridiculus קל וחומר ( a fortiori ) argument:  I see a dentist twice a year, and he only cares for one part of my body; certainly I should see a personal at least twice a year because he cares for many parts of my body.  The קל וחומר is ridiculous because the sort of care I get from a dentist is completely different than the sort of care I get from a personal trainer.  In fact, the only connection between their concerns -- teeth and gums vs muscles and joints -- is that they both happen to be in my body, but they couldn't have less to do with each other. Yet that seems to be the sort of קל וחומר that R' Yochanan is proposing : Food does not require a bracha before, but does require a bracha afterwards.  Therefore learning Torah, which does require a bracha before, all the more so must require a bracha afterwards!  What in the world does learning have to do with eating?  In fact, that is precisely how the gemara (TB Brachos 21a) refutes R...

Here is a seemingly dry halacha: only a non-Jew can nullify an avoda zara (terrible translation: idol).  That is, the Torah demands that we destroy any idol that is actively being worshiped.  If a Jew, chas v'shalom, owns an avoda zara, then it has to be destroyed; he cannot nullify it/render just another rock/metal/wood sculpture.  A non-Jew, on the other hand, can declare his avoda zarato be null and void.  Until today, the only practical difference I could have imagined was that a crucifix owned by a Jew would always work against vampires, while one owned by a non-Jew might not work.  Good to know if you think you might meet some vampires.  I certainly never thought about why that might be true.  Ho-hum. As it happens, that halacha is not so much a legal oddity as a psychological reality.  As Jews, avoda zara is our enemy.  When we try to nullify an avoda zara, the same thing happens as whenever an outsider tries to d...

One of my favorite songs/ditties of all time is, There's a Hole in the Bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza .  The back story is that Liza needs some water from the river and makes that request of husband, Henry.  Henry notes, with love and respect, "There's a hole in the bucket; dear Liza, dear Liza."  Liza, not realizing that Henry has already thought this through, makes what she feels is a perfectly reasonable suggestion, "So fix it; dear Henry, dear Henry."  Henry, realizing that Liza has not followed that to its logical conclusion and wanting to share the joy of discovery with her, gently guides Liza through his logic: need straw, straw is too long, knife is too dull to cut, the whetstone is too dry, need water from the river... there's a hold in the bucket.  The song ends there and I feel that Henry has been exonerated.  Others are less charitable and mumble things like, "Good grief; another stupid man." The gemara (Brachos 21a) makes an observ...