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Thought for the Day: Cooperation Always Wins; Examples from Purim, Shabbos, Hostages, and Teenagers

I finished the Rashi's on this week's parasha  early, so that gives me a time slot to work on completing Manantíales de la Torá from Purim. (It is 43 pages and I don't read Spanish so quickly.) The topic this morning was how the plot of Bigsan and Seresh saved Klal Yisrael. When Mordechai heard the plot, he informed Esther. Why didn't he tell the authorities himself? After all, the government was not very happy with him just now and this could have given him a boost. Mordechai told Esther because he was worried for her safety and he felt that if she told the king, she would be safer. Esther, on the other hand, told the king that Mordechai had given her the information specifically because he was in trouble with the government and she felt this would give him a boost. If he had told the king himself, he likely would have been rewarded right away. If Esther had not told the king in the name of Mordechai, the king would have no record of needing to reward Mordechai.

As is his custom, R' Biderman emphasized his point with a story. A rav was working with a big group of teenagers. As he was speaking, someone handed him a note. He read the note and announced, "I was just informed that someone has donated money for an activity. You each need to find a partner and you'll play tug-of-war. You get half an hour and each person gets a dollar for each game he wins. Go!" They scramble to get started and at the end of the time, he goes to each group. "How many did you win?" "I won 3 and he won 5." So he gives one player 3$ and the other 5$, then continues to the next group. "I won 4 and she won 3." He gives one player 4$ and the other 3$. And so on. He gets to one group and they tell him, "We each won 1500 games." So he gives each 1500$ and continues.

After he is finished distributing the money, he returns to the front to make this observation: You each got paid for winning games. Most of you wasted a lot of time playing the game. One group just took turns letting the other win... so they were the big winners.

Cute story, no?

After I got to shul, I always start with some mishnayos (I learn two sedarim a year; one for my father, a"h, and one for my father-in-law, a"h). I am just now learning K'suvos. I am up to the mishnayos concerning when a woman is captured (all too real since Oct 7). A woman who is violated by a goy is not allowed to marry a kohein and there are mishnayos that deal with what kind of testimony we need to permit her to marry a kohein. The halacha is, of course, that she cannot be believed to testify about her own status. She is clearly נוגע בדבר/about as non-objective about her own status as one could be. The mishna I just happened to be up to this morning is on that topic. K'suvos 2:6 -- Two women were captured (and have been rescued). Each one says, "I was not violated." Her testimony is not accepted (to allow her to marry a kohein). If each one testifies about her co-hostage that she was not violated; that is acceptable testimony to allow each of them to marry whomever she wants, including a kohein.

Takeaway: If each thinks only about herself, they both lose. When they think about how they can help their fellow Jew, they both benefit.

After coming home to make breakfast for my wife and walk my grandson to school, I went to kollel to begin a new masechta. I started Brachos during Pesach last year as my retirement started. I finished yesterday (invitation to grand siyum coming after Pesach, b'ezras HaShem). You know me, I am boring, so I started the next masechta this morning, Shabbos. The first mishna is about a poor person standing outside and a home owner inside, who wants to give some food to the poor Jew outside. If either works on his own -- the home owner picks up an orange in his house, sticks his hand out the window, and puts it in the needy Jew's hand; the homeowner has violated Shabbos. If the needy person reaches into the home and takes (with permission, of course), an orange from the homeowner's hand, he has violated Shabbos. If they share the task, though, then they are both exempt and the needy person gets his orange and the homeowner gets the mitzvah of tzedakah. (This is at a Torah level, there are rabbinic restrictions, but the point is the same.)

I suppose that if I were more sensitive and aware, then HaShem wouldn't need to give me three lessons on one topic in one morning. On the other hand, each lesson was another communication with the Almighty that felt like a gentle hug. So I think I'll stick with being insensitive and unaware!

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