There are few things more irritating than hearing, "I told you so." It is usually heard when trapped in a sticky situation that is the outcome -- direct or indirect -- of a group decision. Invariably, someone was not thrilled with the chosen course of action. Someone had a better idea, but they went along with the group. Now that things are falling apart, that one bitter "fine; I'll go along with you, but..." participant gets to double down and say, "See?! I told you so!"
Yet, we seem to read those very words in the Torah when the 10 sons of Yaakov who went for food are standing before the viceroy of Mitzrayim -- whom they do not recognize as their brother Yosef; the very brother they were seeking save -- and accused of being spies. They know this is an unfair and unwarranted accusation. Even so, they search their deeds to find some error that would warrant this treatment. They understand deeply that HaShem is orchestrating events to punish them for some slight error.
They finally realize (b'reishis 42:21), they failed to act with sufficient compassion when Yosef cried out to them from the pit. On the heels of which (pasuk 22), Reuvein responds, "didn't I tell you not to do that?"
Let's unpack this. First and foremost, the brothers do not feel any remorse about their decision that Yosef was guilty of a capital crime. They also have no regret about deciding to sell him rather than killing him themselves or leaving him in a pit with poisonous snakes and scorpions. Their remorse is only that they did not treat him with more compassion in response to his cries while they were carrying out the sentence they, as the effective Sanhedrin, had decreed. Moreover, they feel that their current situation of being held as prisoners of the state for treason, is warranted by that slight lack of human compassion.
The above can all be explained and it says so much about our illustrious ancestors. But not for now. We are concentrating on Reuvein's remarks/behavior.
So the brothers are earnestly and sincerely searching through their past actions so that this situation, this gift from HaShem to rectify the smudge on their exalted souls, can have the desired effect. True atonement, however, can only be realized if the person has done the necessary soul searching and found the cause of the smudge. In fact, part of the atonement process is precisely to get the person to make that investigation, which will itself permit him to correct his actions in the future.
On that point, Reuvein realizes they have missed the true root cause of this predicament. They erred in their decision that Yosef was guilty of a capital crime. How does Reuvein know that? If they were guilty simply of cruelty, they would be suffering from a cruel situation -- מידה כנגד מידה/measure for measure. But they are being falsely accused of a capital crime here. The מידה כנגד מידה/measure for measure dictates that they were guilty of that crime. Why does Reuvein also tell them, "as I told you"? In order to receive complete atonement, one must not only understand his sin, but also the depth of that sin. Reuvein is telling them that they did not take his words seriously enough at the time of their deliberations, which deepens the stain of the sin.
There is no anger among the brothers. There is only love and compassion and an earnest desire to help one another. The more one studies these portions of our Holy Torah, the more one gains appreciation for what true אהבת ישראל/love among Jews really means.
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