Thought for the Day: Build a Relationship With HaShem Joyously

One of the highlights of my week is when I get a phone call from my first born granddaughter on erev Shabbos.  Sometimes she has a d'var Torah to tell me, and she always asks for a d'var Torah from me.  I always try to have a d'var Torah for her that will elicit a giggle... then I know I've been successful.  I was particularly motivated the Friday of parshas Toldos; a young man I knew had been taken from the world suddenly and I was full of uncomfortable questions.

I asked her if she knew what character trait Yitzchak Avinu exemplified and represented his whole life.  "Of course!  Yitzchak is דין/strict measure of law."  Very good... and then I asked if she knew what the name "Yitzchak" means.  "Um... he will laugh?"  Right again!  So I asked her it that seems like the right name for him.  Of course it didn't.  So I told her that the great Torah sage for whom her brother is named -- R' Alter Chanoch Henoch Leibowitz, ztz"l -- said you need two things to get along in this world: Faith and a sense of humor.  "What!?", she giggled (ah... paydirt!), "I can't imagine any of the Avos with a sense of humor!"

Me:

Let me tell you about the sense of humor our sages have.  You know that picture of R' Henoch you have?  How many Jews look like that in Boca?

Cute, giggly, granddaughter (henceforth to be known as "CGGD"):

None

Me:

Well, there are even fewer in Dallas!

CGGD:

giggle

Me:

R' Henoch came to Dallas for a big shul dinner. Many of the attendees had never seen an Orthodox rabbi at all, most had certainly never seen an old European rabbi! In walked R' Henoch in his "up hat" and long, black coat. The room was silent; no one knew what to expect. R' Henoch started talking... and he had the whole room laughing for 10 minutes. Then he gave his main message. The room was again silent, but this time in rapt attention.

CGGD

Wow...

Wow, indeed.  It seems to me, in fact, that the more strict one is on the executing to the letter of the law, the more one needs to also have a sense of humor.  Without a sense of humor, all one can see is his failings.  No matter how precise and exacting his actions and intent... he always falls short.  With a sense of humor, though, he can laugh at his own failings.  Not, of course, laughing off  his aveiros.  Rather, embracing the reality that we are in this world to perfect ourselves.  We can't improve if we are already perfect, so HaShem -- in His great kindness -- has created us with imperfections.  Laughter comes from realizing an unexpected chidush.  Our failures -- interpreted correctly -- are signposts to defects that we hadn't realized... an unexpected chidush and therefore a cause for joy!  The m'silas yesharim, on this point, says straight out that regret is not about beating ourselves up over past mistakes; regret is to help us plan for improvement in the future.  That may be why it was specifically the patriarch who represents the strict measure of the law is named "he will laugh."

One more thing.  I asked if anyone else wanted to talk with me.  She checked... no, they were all busy.  I can certainly understand that!  In today's world of sensory overload, talking to a disembodied voice (not even a video!) doesn't have much appeal.  It doesn't change by one iota my love for any one of them.  And yet... I have a different relationship with the one I talk to more often.  Not more loving; yet deeper and more meaningful.

That's all HaShem wants from us.  It's hard to interact with a disembodied spirit.  Nothing can change His love for each and every one of us.  But our davening and mitzvah observance -- as lacking as they are -- are opportunities for us to deepen and make more meaningful our relationship with our Father in Heaven.  And when we (so to speak) giggle at our attempts... we are laughing together with HaShem... The way a Zeidy and granddaughter laugh with each other.