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Thought for the Day: The Power of Good Midos

My naiveté knows few bounds.  For example, I was shocked to discover that one could be outside a city one day.  I had seen maps of the world, the USA, and California; countries, states, and counties all filled the available space, so I assumed that cities did the same.  I was about 12 years old at the time.  I was somewhat older when I learned that salesmen actually do something more than take your money in exchange for product.  I learned that watching my father, עליו השלום, at work; he was a master salesman and I learned from him that "sales" is actually a transitive verb.  I was about 18 by then.  Somewhat later I learned there is even another level -- putting seller and buyer together is also a skill.  Perhaps the most refined (and oft maligned) of those are the שדכנים/matchmakers.  Finding the right buyer for a house is one thing, but bringing together soul mates is huge!  It can only happen with סיעתא דשמיא/help from Above and anyone who has been involved has seen the evident Divine Providence involved.  I heard a particularly striking story about that from R' Fuerst, שליט''א.

A religious girl in Israel who was a ba'alas t'shuva was getting to marriageable age.  Her father, not religious, but who loved his daughter and wanted the best for her announced that he would contact a shadchan.  She was nervous, but loved her father and knew he wanted the best for her; she had one request: that be be sitting and learning, at least at the beginning of their marriage.  The father contacted a shadchan who handled all sorts of shidduchim and discussed both his concerns and, of course, his daughter's desire for a boy sitting and learning.  The shadchan said he knew a perfect boy.  Both sides did their checking and the two young people agreed that they would like to meet.

The girl is waiting at the appointed place and time, the boy shows up and introduces himself.  No yarmulke, doesn't look too religious.  The girl, obviously, looks very religious.  The girl says she was looking for a boy who was sitting and learning, the boy says, "I am sitting and learning... in university; I am studying physics and only have a year or two till my degree." (I didn't make that up!  It was really physics!)  Apparently, the shadchan had sized up the father and figured "sitting and learning" meant "in university".  So the girl said she really wanted a religious boy, the boy replied that he wasn't anti-religious; in fact, he even went to shul on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur.  The girl was gracious, but demurred; they parted company.

Funny thing, though.  The boy had never met a girl like her.  Smart, personable, of course; but there was something more.. she had a grace and sweetness about her that he couldn't get out of his mind.  After a few months he decided to try a class or two.  That turned into a chavrusa or two, that turned into... full time yeshiva bachur, sitting and learning.  It was by now a couple of years and he happened to run into the girl's father; he asked if the girl was married; was told that she was not; they asked her if she would like to try again; she said yes... shidduch made in heaven; they ended up married.

Beautiful, no?  Interestingly, the shadchan wanted his shadchanus!  Even more interestingly, he got it!  It's pretty interesting why that is so.


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