I learn mishnayos every day and try to do a seder or two each year. Having Kehati on my phone (Android; you iPhone users will have to find your own apps) makes it easy to learn several mishnayos a day during the many otherwise wasted minutes of standing around waiting during the day. I am now just finishing the mishnayos of Pesachim. Now, you might think that I'd just switch to Sukkos because it was, after all, Sukkos and I am, after all, learning seder Mo'ed. Nope, I like to go in order and keep my learning seder tidy. Moreover, there is the famous g'zeira shava of ט''ו ט''ו. That is, Pesach and Succos are the only two holidays that start on the 15th of the month, and many halachos are learned one from the other because of that. So there.
In a recent Thought for the Day: Shmini Atzeres -- Serving HaShem Without Props, I noted that Shmini Atzeres is a Yom Tov that by design and intent has no mitzvos unique to it. More than that, the month after our High Holiday season, חשון -- aka מרחשון -- also has no holiday; again, by design and intent. The point being to give us time to internalize and deepen the impact of all the powerful symbols and ceremonies in which we have been immersed.
That last point concerning חשון -- aka מרחשון -- though, got me thinking. The reason I have always heard for referring to the month as מרחשון is that we are saying מר חשון/bitter חשון. A month that is bitter specifically because it has no holidays. Isn't that interesting? The months in which we commemorate the destruction of Beis HaMikdash -- may it be rebuilt soon and in our lifetimes, not bitter. The months during which R' Akiva's 24,000 disciples dies, not bitter. No holidays? Whoa... that's מר/bitter!
Remember two paragraphs ago I said that I had just learned the mishnayos of P'sachim? Well, one of those is the source for an integral part of our seder: Rabban Gamliel says that if you miss any of these three topics -- Pesach, Matzah, מרור -- has not fulfilled his obligation. מרור -- מרחשון... hmm... could there be something deeper here? In fact, I do not know of another place that the concept of מר/bitter figures so prominently. To find such an unusual idea in the two holiday that are unassailabley linked by the Torah certainly should (and did) pique one's (this one, anyway) interest.
The fact that מרור is on that list with Pesach and Matzah is actually pretty odd; it just doesn't seem to fit, does it? The pesah offering itself, HaShem skipping over our houses because we were willing to public slaughter and consume the god of our erstwhile masters. Matzah because we rushed to obey HaShem's directive to leave, so we just walked out with the clothes on our back and dough that would bake in the dessert sun into flat crackers. And... bitter herbs? Really? I mean, I have bitter herbs whenever I have gefilte fish and it' geschmack!
Here's a more visceral -- and absolutely true -- example: When a patient leaves the hospital after open heart surgery, they are told to definitely seek immediate medical attention if they experience any of the following: (1) passing out, (2) vomiting blood, or (3) shortness of breath. Um... what? I am pretty much likely to call 911 for anyone who passes out or is vomiting blood. But shortness of breath... really? I mean, I get shortness of breath every time I exercise well and it's geschmack!
As it turns out, in the context of "patient recovering from open heart surgery" the symptom of atrial fibrillation, aka AFib, which is never good. For a patient recovering from open heart surgery, though, it means risk of stroke and is an emergency. Good thing they put those three things together. Had I only seen "shortness of breath", I would have just skimmed over it. On that list, though; Yes, you have my attention.
Let's go back to at מרור the seder. Now that Rabban Gamliel has put it on that list; Yes, you have my attention. What elevates bitter herbs to the level of korban pesach and matza in the context of birth of a nation wholly dedicated to Avodas HaShem? What dimension is added by a bitter month to the experience of living as a nation wholly dedicated to Avodas HaShem? Why do we need both the מרור at the seder and a מרחשון after the High Holiday season?
I would like to suggest that there are three essential dimensions of both holiday seasons. One, HaShem reaching out to us -- the korban pesach andShofar/Rosh HaShanna/Yom Kippur. Two, we have a dimension of us reaching out to HaShem -- matzah and Sukkos/Lulav. The third dimension? What else is there in a relationship besides what each party commits to the other? Simply put: exclusivity. What we fondly know as אין עוד מלבדו/there is no other existence. There are a myriad of relationships that are not that way: friendship, business partners, the bus driver, the checker at Target, etc, etc, etc. Then there is one unique relationship: marriage. The relationship between HaShem and His beloved marriage is more like a marriage than anything else. And that means exclusive; אין עוד מלבדו/there is no other existence.
Why do we need both מרור and מרחשון? The מרור at the seder makes a very sharp and profound impression in the physical dimension. However, as with any physical experience, the context can get lost in the experience. Pain is pain and our first reaction is to look for quick answers. If one is parched to the point of frenzy, the inclination is to reach for water -- any water. But drinking salt water -- as good as it looks to one who is parched and severely dehydrated -- will only make matters worse. He needs a plan that will save his life, not give him a moment of relief. That is precisely what חשון -- aka מרחשון -- provides. The bitterness is not caused by the slavery, the bitterness was already there and ultimately led to the slavery. The bitterness was turning away from HaShem; from abandoning the exclusivity of that relationship.
Our relationship with HaShem as His Holy Nation, Chosen by Him for our unique mission, the nation who individually, collectively, and publicly declared: We accept You as our King and the Torah as our connection to do -- without reservation and unconditionally-- whatever You require. That relationship is not the best of all possible worlds; it is the only world and there is none other.
This is already too long, so I'll end with a cute story about my grandchildren. My grandchildren were playing charades and pantomiming different relatives. My five year old granddaughter chose to act out "Zeidy". She pantomimed taking a handful of something, putting it in her mouth, then gasping, crying, and rubbing her eyes. They all shouted out immediately: Zeidy at the seder eating מרור! Cute, no? But also... who better to teach them the lesson that there is nothing "out there" than their zeidy who grew up "out there" and has only now turned the corner from most of his life "out there" to -- Baruch HaShem and Chasdei HaShem -- most of my life now a life of Torah; which is to say, Life.
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