Michael el Chayil

Never heard the term "DMC"? It means "deep meaningful conversation". The first time I heard the term was from the daughter of a neighbor and close friend who had come back from seminary and was struggling with shidduchim. She had (and still has) a very close relationship with her mother. I saw her one afternoon and she had a particularly thoughtful look on her face. I asked her about it, and she told me, with a very sincere smile, that she and her mother had just had a DMC. (She has since married to a wonderful young man. Baruch HaShem, our families are still closer despite the years and distance.) This week's parasha begins with the Jewish nation on the verge of entering the promised land, then details how their bad decisions earned them 40 years of exile in the desert, and finishes with the mitzvah of ציצית. The very last verse of this parasha ends (in translation): I am HaShem, your G-d Who took you out of the land of Mitzrayim to be for you your G-d; I am Ha...

In a recent TftD , which was really about why we got the Torah (Go Team Klal Yisrael!), I mentioned that it is simply logical to not eat the limb of a living animal. After all, besides fish eating live fish and small reptiles/amphibians eating live bugs, animals kill their prey before eating it. Here is what Gemini says about it: So, while the image of a predator instantly killing its prey might not always be precisely accurate in every second of a hunt, the overwhelming preference and typical strategy for large land animals is to kill their prey as efficiently as possible to minimize risk and ensure a successful meal. As my daughter told me recently, I have found my people... I love learning in kollel in the morning and they more than put up with my presence. I often share ideas when getting coffee and/or passing each other outside beis medrash. (Inside beis medrash everyone is constantly busy!) It is a great environment for me because I have a huge pet peeve; I hate being wrong. In t...

I had the incredible opportunity to write a letter in a sefer Torah. I started the day learning and davening, then went to shiur by R' Fuerst, shilta, then to the mikveh, then to write the letter. What letter did I have the zchus to write in a sefer Torah that was dedicated to the memory of Mr. Rudy Tessler, ztz''l, a holocaust survivor whom I am very proud to have personally known (and behind whom I davened for years)? We'll get to that.... Writing a sefer Torah is one of the 613 mitzvos. The Rosh (brought in Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 270:2; see Shach and Taz there) says that we can fulfill that mitzvah by buying s'farim and learning them. I have done that and do that and hope to continue doing that for as long as HaShem grants me the ability to do so. Still, even if that is 100%, first class way to fulfill that mitzvah, you can't possibly compare that to the coolness factor of actually taking quill to parchment. One thing, though. There are a few requirements...

I was not popular in college. Some reasons are still evident five decades later, others are no longer relevant. In any case, one day I finally mustered the courage to ask out a freshman (I was a junior and still younger than her; one of the reasons I was not popular). In a moment of weakness, she said yes. She regained her sensibilities before I picked her up, so when I arrived she told me she had an exam to study for, and so had to cancel our date. She felt badly enough to invite me in for some popcorn before shooing me off. I wasn't so dense as to be oblivious to what just happened, but I had no better option, so I took her up on it. I wasn't there for more than 15 or so minutes. She asked me why I chose to be a physics major. I struggled to explain, and then said, "I mean, haven't you ever wondered why the sky is blue?" She got a puzzled look on her face and said, "No." I don't know if there is a punctuation mark for her tone. Kind of a mixture of...

[Just to let you know... this is not at all what I had planned to write (and,  בעזרת השם, will write later). This happens sometimes. Go figure. As I began my life as a Torah observant Jew, there were many, many choices to be made. I am sure I have mentioned this, but just months before getting married, I heard a story on the radio (of course I always listened to news radio stations...) about a study of who is most likely to get taken by a con. The study found that smarter people get taken more often than, well, less smart/sophisticated/educated people. Why? Because they feel they are smart enough to see through a scam. Less smart/sophisticated/educated people, on the other hand, are guided by: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I was not quite 20 and have always considered myself a smart/educated (nope, not sophisticated in the least) person, so that study really resonated with me. I am very distrustful of the biggest scam artist I know: my inner voice, followed clos...

My grandfather (with whom I was very close and in many way set my direction in life) was a graduate student of Electrical Engineering at CalTech, one of the top universities for science and engineering to this day. He told me about a student defending his thesis whose professors (to start things off) asked him to write down something basic. He turned to them and said (with a smirk), "I would have thought gentlemen of your caliber would already know that." He was hoping it would lighten the mood. It didn't; it was a bad move. I actually saw nearly the same thing in my own graduate career. One of the professors was my thesis advisor and I had never seen him get angry nor raise his voice. When the postdoc who was giving a presentation made a similar remark, I saw the back of my research adviser's neck turn an amazingly deep shade of red. It did not go well for the postdoc. Talmud Bavli begins with Masechta Brachos, which begins with a mishna that begins with these words:...