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Thought for the Day: What Fear of Heaven Really Means

I do not react to posts on Facebook. There is a long standing tradition (dating back to the usenet newsgroup days) that when you are posting to the internet, you should forget logic and just go for visceral reaction. The more evocative, the better; truth be damned. So I just read and shake my head. My favorite are from rigidly dogmatic/rabid atheists who post things like, "I am glad I am not so afraid of god that I can't ." Which is, of course, the logical equivalent of someone who does not believe in bacteria (because you can't see them after all) saying, "I am glad that I am no so afraid of infection that I can't share a needle with my crack addict friends."

Indeed, I am trying to make a point. "Fear of Heaven" is not fear that some big, powerful supernatural being will smack me around 'cause I did something he doesn't like. Fear of Heaven means being a grown up and being mature about your choices.

Before venturing further, I also feel compelled to not that just because someone or some-ology does or does not refer to a deity, does not make it right. Both astrology and astronomy refer to planets and stars. It would a huge and tragic mistake to put them in the same bucket. Voodoo does not refer to planets and stars, but voodoo and astrology belong in one bucket; neither belong in the bucket that includes astronomy. I am sture you could have guessed that put ethical humanism and christianity in one bucket. Orthodox Judaism, on the other hand, doesn't belong any where near either of them.

The Torah describes the selection of a Torah observant Jewish army. The last criteria is if they are too fainthearted and fearful to go to war.  R' Akiva says it means what the simple meaning implies. R' Yose HaGalili says it means they are afraid because of even the tiny sins they are holding; a bit more detail here. It stretches the fabric of logic beyond recognition to believe that these great Sages have nearly opposite views of what this verse in the Torah means.

Imagine someone has a defective heart valve. Without repair, a long, slow decline to death is inevitable. The surgery, though, is terrifying... the chest (which is designed specifically to protect the heart and lungs) needs to be breached. The heart itself needs to be stopped and disconnected to be repaired. Then things that the body needs to be put back together and allowed -- miracle of miracles -- to repair itself. No rational person enters into that procedure without real fear. No rational person declines the procedure. No rational person allows any but the most competent surgical teams to operate. No rational person submits himself to that procedure unless he is healthy enough to survive the operation itself.

One might very waver, however, on the issue of whether it is enough to have healthy heart, or does the entire body need to be healthy? One the one hand, it is the heart that will take the brunt of the procedure; as long is it is healthy, he can survive. One the other hand, once the system is breached at such a deep level, then even an otherwise innocuous infection and weakness may prove to be fatal.

The Torah observant soldiers understand that war is a terrifying procedure. Why would he be afraid to enter into a Torah mandated war? Of course he is afraid... that's just being rational. We also know that the accusing angel has power when a person is in danger. The question at hand, then, is if he feels he has enough merit to survive the accusations of the satan. R' Akiva says the only worry is if he feels weak in his אמונה/faith; which is, so to speak, the heart of Torah observance. As long as his אמונה is healthy, then he can survive this Torah mandated war. R' Yose HaGalili, on the other hand, says one must be worried about even the smallest of weaknesses in his Torah observance, because in a situation this dangerous, any chink one's spiritual armor can be lethal.
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