The gemara (Rosh HaShannah 18a) wonders what was the z'chus that allowed Rabba and Abaya (descendants of Eli haCohein and subject to a decree of early death) to have such long lives. Rabba, Chazal tell us, lived to 40 because he was constantly involved with Torah; Abaya lived to 60 because he was constantly involved with Torah and G'mulus Chasadim. I heard from R' Chaim Dov Keller, shlita, that the Chafeitz Chaim said on this chazal that one does not lose from doing chesed. Our life is not a fixed pool out of which we need to take away from one thing to give to another. As Jews we don't live b'derech ha'teva, we live (literally) -- both spiritually and physically -- b'derech ha'Torah.
Two scenarios: Scenario I: A young boy awakened in the middle of the night, placed in the back of vehicle, told not to make any noise, and the vehicle speeds off down the highway. Scenario II: Young boy playing in park goes to see firetruck, turns around to see scary man in angry pursuit, poised to attack. I experienced and lived through both of those scenarios. Terrifying, no? Actually, no; and my picture was never on a milk carton. Here's the context: Scenario I: We addressed both set of our grandparents as "grandma" and "grandpa". How did we distinguish? One set lived less than a half hour's drive; those were there "close grandma and grandpa". The other set lived five hour drive away; they were the "way far away grandma and grandpa". To make the trip the most pleasant for all of us, Dad would wake up my brother and I at 4:00AM, we'd groggily -- but with excitement! -- wander out and down to the garage where we'd crawl
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